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Tuesday, February 02, 2021

A Frank Talk

 

https://www.wonderpurr.com

Hi Furends, Welcome to my first Tuesdays with Dori after our blog weboot. I'm yoor host, Dori. *wavy paws* 

We have a lot of newcomers to our blog, so Welcome. We hope yoo will enjoy our pwogwam, and have a good time.

With our weboot I also got a bwand new look. Something to compliment our move to Flory-Da. So join me in giving my set designer a wound of appaws.

Appaws! Appaws!


https://www.wonderpurr.com

Dori: My co-hosts today are my bwofurs Hwermie (@TattleCat) and Wabbit (@Hermes_LuxuryCat). Recently Wabbit celebwated his third Gotcha Day wif our family. Please join me in concatulating him on making it this far, cuz there are some days when I swear he won’t see dawn of tomorrow. 
Rabbit: I’m a handful.
Herman: *grumbling under breath* 
Rabbit: Did you say something big brofur? 
Herman: I’m not your big brofur. 
Rabbit: Grampa? 
Herman: *loud growling* Go back to where you came from! 
Rabbit: Momma’s room? 
Herman: *hissing* She’s not your Momma. She’s my momma! 
Rabbit: Mommy. MaMa. Meowmy. 
Herman: Stop it. 
Rabbit: Ma. Mum. Mummy. 
Herman: I swear, little man, if you say Mom one more time, I'm gonna pounce on your floofy tail and--
Rabbit: Motha. Moeder. Mere. Okaasan... 
Dori: Excuse me. This is my show. I’m the pwincess, so yoo gotta do what I say. And I want to have a Fwank talk about--- 
Herman: Wait. Not about… You know. The birds and the bees. He’s too young. 
Rabbit: What about the birds and the bees? 
Dori: Why did yoo think I was going to talk about sex? 
Rabbit: What’s sex?
Herman: Because you said you wanted to have a Frank talk. 
Rabbit: Is sex something to eat? I’m hungry. Got any meat sticks?
Dori: I meant I wanted to talk about our bwofur Fwank, and give evfurrybuddy an update on his twansgender surgery. 
Rabbit: Did you know you have a speech impediment? 
Herman: Dori! He didn’t go for surgery to switch genders. Nearly three years ago he almost died from a third urinary blockage in twelve months. 
Rabbit: So transgender is about sex? 
Dori: Yes. 
Herman: No! Well… We aren’t talking about that surgery. We’re talking about how Frank had to undergo an emergency perineal urethrostomy.
Rabbit: Does that have something to do with emergency sex? 
Dori: Yes. 
Herman: No! Dori-- *pulls at his whiskers with frustration* Let’s talk about Frank’s surgery and how he’s doing nearly three years later.
Dori: Listen Mister Bossy Pants, this is my show. We will talk about what I want to talk about. 
Herman: You’re right. I’m sorry. What do you want to talk about. 
Dori: Fwank’s surgery and how he’s doing. 
Rabbit: Can we talk about sex now? 
Herman: Shhh… Adults are talking. Dori, do you remember what happened, right before Frank was rushed to the ER?
Dori: *closes eyes* I wemember it was a Sunday morning. I saw Fwank wrassling Rabbit under Mom’s foots while she was making bweakfast. Then I saw Fwank in the litter box. He was in there a long time. 
Herman: What did Mom do? 
Dori: She was too busy and didn’t notice at first. Then Fwank took a nap in the fwont window for the afternoon. At dinnertime Mom fed us— 
Rabbit: How come I have to eat in the closet? 
Herman: Because you’re a feline garbage disposal and will clean our plates before we’re finished eating.
Rabbit: I’m a baby. I’m growing as we speak. 
Herman: A baby?!? You're over fifteen pounds. You're bigger than any one of us!
Dori: *opens one eye* I'm still wemembering. *closes eye* After Fwank ate dinner, he went into the litter closet and again, he was in there a weally long time. This time I got Mom’s attention and pointed this out. She hovered over him, but nothing was coming out. When he stepped out, she reached down to feel his bladder and he cried. That’s when Mom rushed him to emergency. 
Herman: Dori. You’re a hero. 
Dori: I am? 
Herman: If you hadn’t pointed out to Mom that Frank was having problems, she might not have noticed until too late. As it was, the emergency vet couldn’t insert a catheter into Frank’s pee-pee because it was blocked. They think maybe from scar tissue from his other two urinary blockages. 
Dori: I’m sure any one of us would have told Mom. 
Herman: But it was you who did. So what happened after Fwank's surgery? 
Dori: *hangs head, mumbling* 
Herman: What did you say? 
Dori: I said, Fwank turned into an Alien! 
Herman: Alien? Where did you hear that? 
Dori: *points to Rabbit* 
Rabbit: It’s true. I saw him get beamed up to a space ship. 
https://www.wonderpurr.com

Herman: You did not. 
Rabbit: I did so! I even followed him to his Intergalactic space station. 
Herman: Rabbit, you are so full of horse puckey. 
Rabbit: And you have no sense of humor. 
Herman: What? I have a sense of humor. 
Rabbit: *raises brows* Sure you do. Not. 
Herman: Listen AssRabbit. I was responsible for Wonderpurr.com being a 2017 Blogpaws Nose to Nose Finalist for Best Humor Blog. 
Rabbit: Did you win? 
Herman: *mumbles* 
Dori: We didn't win. 
Rabbit: Because he has no sense of humor. 
Herman: Why you little-- 
Dori: Hwermie. It’s twue about Fwank being an alien. I wemember peeking inside the man cave and I saw him. He had some kind of alien thingy hanging around his neck. I ran when I saw him. 
Herman: That’s not an alien thingy. That’s called the Cone of Shame. It’s to stop Frank from licking his stitches. If he licked them, something dire could happen. 
https://www.wonderpurr.com

Dori: So, Fwank isn’t an alien? 
Herman: No. He's still Frank. 
Rabbit: Sex! 
Herman: What? 
Rabbit: I’m bored with this convo. Let’s talk about something funner. Have you seen the Muppet Babies teevee show? 
Herman: Dori, did Mom tell you what happened after Frank came home from surgery? 
Dori: She told me he wefused to use the litter box. She had shwedded newspaper in there, but yoo know Fwank. He’s a picky pussycat. So Momma called the vet and he said go buy Yesterday’s News litter. It’s at Petco for $20 for a 30 pound bag. But she got the Petco brand, 25 pounds for $12. 
Herman: Did Frank use it? 
Dori: Of course not! He’s got a weputation to maintain. He wasn’t going to make any of this after surgery stuff easy for Momma. 
Herman: So he didn’t go pee pee at all? 
Dori: Nope! He’s got a cast iron bladder, you know. 
Herman: I’ve heard. So what happened? I saw Mom hustling him out the door the following day. 
Dori: When it got to be over 48 hours and he still hadn’t done his bizness, Momma took him all the way back to the surgeon. That meant draping a big blue tarp in the back of the van, and putting a litter box in there along with a woll of papurr toweling. 
Rabbit: Is that standard procedure? 
Herman: Frank gets very car sick, poor guy. 
Dori: But the good news was, he peed and poo’d in the box all the way to the surgeon.
Rabbit: *giggles behind paws* 
Herman: What’s so funny? 
Rabbit: She said poo. 
Herman: So, the vet said Frank was okay after all? 
Dori: The vet said he would be a little bloody for a while, but that was normal. He got medicine for the pain, but then, later that night Fwank actually used the News litter box without Mom begging him. 
Herman: I recall hearing him around 2AM yowling and scratching at the man cave door. 
Dori: Fwank doesn’t like to sleep alone. So Mom went in and curled up with him on the couch until he fell asleep. 
Herman: Awwww. 
Rabbit: Awwww. 
Herman: Don't repeat after me. 
Rabbit: Don't repeat after me. 
Herman: Stop it! 
Rabbit: Stop it! 
Dori: Stop it both of yoo! Fwank was supposed to go back for a check up after fourteen days, but in the meantime he started to stink weally bad. Momma ended up taking him back ah-gain...and this time the surgeon said his stitches didn't dissolve correctly, and his flesh was rotting.
Rabbit: Cool! Like, is he a Zom now? Will his tail fall off, and his ears? 
Herman: Rabbit, Frank's surgery happened in March 2018. If he was a Zom, you would have been eaten by now. 
Rabbit: Awww. hekk! Hey, anybuddy want to wrassle? I got energy to burn! 
Dori: Not me! Yoo play rough. 
Rabbit: What about you, Grampa? Wanna wrassle? 
Herman: Sure. 
Dori: Wait. What? 
Herman: Sure, Rabbit. I’ll wrassle with you. But you said you’re hungry. 
Rabbit: Starvy! 
Herman: Then I think you should have a snack first. *pulls out a meat stick* 
Rabbit: *opens mouth* 
Herman: Oh, you can’t eat it here on Dori’s newly designed set. You’ll make a mess. Better you go into the kitchen closet to enjoy your delicious, meaty snack. 
Rabbit: *zooms into the closet* 
Herman: *tosses meat stick inside and shuts the door. Returns to the set.* So, Dori. Concatulations on the success of your Tuesdays with Dori show. I know this reboot will be just as successful as your show on the demon-possessed, content-eating Wordpress.
Dori: Thank yoo, Hwermie.  Are yoo hungwy? *offers meat sticks* 
Herman: *takes one* Thank you, Dori. 
Rabbit: *shouting inside closet* Grampa! I'm finished. I'm ready to wrassle. Hello? Gram-paaaa! 
Dori: Are yoo absolutely sure Fwank isn’t an alien? 
Herman: Trust me, honey. Frank isn’t an alien. 
https://www.wonderpurr.com

Dori: It's been almost three years since Fwank's emergency pee-pee surgery. During that time he has had two bad U.T.I.'s, but no more blockages. Since Fwank was a four-year-old stway man-cat when he came to live with us in 2014, he's been extweamly fortunate that my Momma has made his pee-pee her bizness. The surgery is expensive, but evfurrybuddy knows our Fwank is worth so much more than any dollar amount.

Like Momma says, when yoo wescue someone, yoo agree to take care of them all their lives. Not just when it's convenient and yoo can afford it.

Thank yoo for sharing my Tuesdays posts with yoor furends. 

Until next time...
https://www.wonderpurr.com


10 comments:

sophie said...

Poor Frank! Sending you (and all your fursibs) lots of love 💗💗💗💗💗

Sandee said...

How fun. I love this.

Thank you for joining the Happy Tuesday Blog Hop.

Have a fabulous Happy Tuesday. ♥

All_kitties_matter said...

That was awesome pawsome, Dori. Not only is it weally, um really funny and entertaining, it’s a very important issue with boi cats and urinary blockages, which are no joke. Kitties can and do die from those. I wish that vets would educate people about the signs to watch for. Just like I wish florists would all have signs above lilies saying “NOT for homes with cats!” But that’s another thing. Fwank was really fortunate that your Meowmy knows how to feel a cat’s bladder. And he was lucky you were paying attention. Boi cats can die within 24 hours of becoming blocked! I had an orange boi named Montana who got blocked twice in a row when he was 3 and he had a p/u operation so he was twansgender like Fwank. He had a couple of UTI’s afterwards in life but other than that he had no problems until he died of cancer at 15. Thank you, Dori, for making this vewy, uh very important problem the subject of your first reboot. I love your new Tuesdays with Dori look and I already can’t wait to see what you do next Tuesday! ❤️

Memories of Eric and Flynn said...

I remember when Frank was having all those problems and glad that apart from the UTIs the surgery was successful in stopping the blockages.

Timmy Tomcat said...

We really enjoyed that Dori and let us tell you the new set is Boo-Ti-Full! Now, That Rabbit is much like the over large Cat who eats too much at our home and I know Herman you really need to think of ways to keep him in check.
Dad always pays attention to our Pee Pee as he had a kitty many years ago who had that problem. Luckily it was only one time but but Dad always checked up on Angel Inky.
PS We loved the Post, The Humor and the New Set!
YAY Dori. And Herman and you too Rabbit!

Marv, Jo Jo, Komo, Cinnamon & Angel Nellie said...

Poor Frankie, but he's lucky about the surgery. We have a before cat who had loads of troubles. Thanks for your show! We love it and we hope you do it again! Have a marvellously Happy Day!

Pam and Teddy said...

What a great read! You all are up to any and everything. You're right though about FOREVER....when you bring somebody into your family it's a permanent lock no matter what comes. FOREVER means FOREVER!

Hugs to all, Teddy

Aries’ Mom said...

This was just too cute and so creative. Quite the characters you live with!

da tabbies o trout towne said...

dori; your show is FABULOUS and your new page look is too and I have to confess that boomer had surgery like frank had surgery and boomer was no longer a boy but he also wasn't a girl so I guess maybe frank really is an alien after all but with everything going on in the world today having frank at standby to call his ship to ready so everyone can get the sam hell off this planet is a good thing though maybe you should ask frank if they have shopping malls there where he went with hugs from dai$y =^..^= ♥♥♥

Seville at Nerissa's Life said...

Oh my mouses, my friends. That's so funny! Well, not the actual subject, of course - Peein' and poopin' probs are no laughin' matter - but the way you tell it is HILARIOUS! purrs