July 31, 2023

Official Invitation to August to Join the 'BER Months

Dear August,

This is Dori, *wavy paws*. I know this is short notice, but I would like yoo to formally join the ’BER Months by changing yoor name to AugtoBER.

Here are my reasons why this would be a good move for yoo.

There are no major federal holidays celebwated during the month of August. Other than Homemade Pie Day on the 1st, and Inpurrnational Cat Day on the 8th… and maybe Wurld Honeybee Day on the 19th because they are in danger of being extincted, along with International Homeless Animals Day which hurts my heart to think of animals being homeless, August isn’t a month where hoomons get an official day off along with an excuse to overeat and dwink wine and be silly.

Balloons to Heaven Day on the 6th is a very bad idea, August. Them rubber floaty things end up in lakes and oceans and eff up aquatic life. Apologies for saying a bad wurd but, I’m vewy serious.

Cwackers Over the Keyboard Day on the 28th is just plain silly. And National Dan Day on the 31st leaves me with so many questions: Who is Dan? Where does he live? What did he do that was special enough to get a day named after him? And are all hoomons named Dan being celebwated on that day, or only just one guy named Dan? Also, what about kittehs and doggos named Dan? Are they getting celebwated too? Thinking about this hurts my bwain, August.

Now, here are my reasons why yoo should change yoor name to AugtoBER.

The ‘BER Months start in SeptemBER where children go back to school. They get new clothes and new school supplies and start talking about what costume they will wear on Halloween and what kind of pie they like best for Thanksgiving and what they want Santa Claus to bwing them for Christmas.

August, if yoo join the ‘BER Months, yoo will usurp the usual excitement related to SeptemBER by being the first to get everyone excited with anticipation for the change that’s coming from hot and sweaty weather to cooler temperatures where leaves change to pwetty colors and noms become delicious and cweative like sugar cookies made to look like slices of punkin pie.

The ‘BER Months typically get hoomons thinking about Christmas, so they get out their notebooks and start planning lists on what to buy, and what to bake, and what photos will be on their Christmas card or what family achievements they will brag about in their Holiday newsletter. 

If yoo joined the ‘BER Months, August, maybe we could finally get yoo a legitimate National Holiday called Get Excited for HollowThanksMas where everyone spends that day planning costumes, what pie they will serve after turkey noms, and sorting out who belongs on the Nice List as opposed to the Naughty List.

Anyway, AugtoBER -- I’m calling yoo AugtoBER to let yoo try it on and see how it fits – I realize this is last minute, but I sincerely hope yoo will abandon yoor hot, sweaty, no-nothing existence among the summer months, and come join the Fun Months. Come be a ‘BER and I promise yoo will have no regrets.

Sincerely, Dori, President of the ‘BER Months Fan Club

July 25, 2023

Drink During Summertime - It Can Save Your Life

Fwends, this is Dori *wavy paws* with a vewy serious pawblic service announcement.

And before yoo get all excited that I've given yoo purrmission to go get drunk on alcoholic beverages like Long Island Ice Teas and Mojitos and Tequila Sunrises and Moscow Mules... I'm not. Like I said, I'm talking serious stuff here.

If yoo are experiencing severe warm outside, yoo might be in danger of being dehydrated without realizing it.*paws on hips* I’m speaking to yoo, Daddy!

Here in FloryDa we are suffering with high temperatures that pwevent me from enjoying my Catio. And because we can’t enjoy outside we are all stuck together inside. With a crowd of purrsonalities like we have, it’s pwetty dicey on who’s going to get up in someone else’s bizness and have a dissygreement.

Anyway! I'm not here to talk about soshallizing dissygreeable fur sibs. I'm talking about Dehydration and it's vewy serious. Yoo can die! Or mess up yoor Day by lying in bed sick when yoo could be having fun.

When ChauncieMarie (18) and Opie (16) were diagnosed with kidney disease they got prescription noms. And Momma started adding Purina Pro Plan Veterinary Supplements HydraCare®

to their breakfast noms. She also adds a little to my bowl and everyone else’s just to make sure we are getting enough liquids. She also adds a little water to our bowls. I’ve tried to tell her that’s overkill but she ignored me… like she knows better than I do. So sad.

I’m not an influencer for Chewy or Purina’s HydraCare. I just care about yoo my frens, and want yoo to enjoy a nicely hydrated body.

Yoo can buy HydraCare on Chewy - 12 3oz pouches for @14.99. One pouch is a lot when adding to our kitty bowls - Momma gives most to Opie and ChauncieMarie, then squirts some in my bowl and the others. It’s a pwetty orange color - like salmon soup! And tasted delicious! All 13 of us love the taste.

Okay. Yoo now know what to do. Drink lots of clean water. Water is best - avoid sugary drinks and alcohol as they don’t hydrate yoo.

<heavy sighs> The heat is now getting to me, even indoors cuz I’m lying in my window hammock. Time to close the shade and have a nice cool rest on the bed.

Love yoo all! Dori  

Until Next Time...

July 11, 2023

Black Cat Diary of a Horrible Mornin'

Frens, dis be me, Jesse da Toofless Wonder. Nice to meet ya'll. Ah doan get much oppurrtoonitty to get off da kitchen counter an' socialize, but Ah had a rough mornin' an' so Ah'm takin' control of today's blog post.

It all started when ma Mama dragged me out of ma loft condo ‘n stuck me in a Bad Box. Bad Boxes only come out for visits to Doktor Feelgood. Affer a long drive in da car... Yup. That’s where Ah ended up.

While waitin’ ma Mama attacked ma claws with special clippurrs. Lemme tell ya, Frens, when you don’t have teef you gotta grow some pawerful murder mittens to protect yerself from ex-street thugs like Frank ‘n pretty lil scary grrrls like Dori (although she’s simmered down a lot and Ah’m not bothered about her no more.)

At home Ah’m verra determined not to give up even a small piece of ma claws - Ah eben put a formidable bitey on Mama once but she laughed ‘n said it tickled; so cruel to hear when Ah wuz being ferocious. Anyway, ma Mama be a sneaky Yankee grrrl ‘n quickly robbed me blind of ma claws while Ah was on da table tryin’ hard not to cry.

June 30, 2023

Guy Appeal

 Hey everybuddy. Rabbit here. Now I don’t mean to start anything, but after taking a deep dive into my social media stats, I got some news that just might change the type of content I post.


Up to now I’ve had women in their 40s and 50s following me, so I restrained my antics because you know how women get all fusty over guys doing stuff like acting out, laffing at guy humor, biting their sisters’ necks and looking for trouble. However, as of this past month, men ranging in ages from 13 to 44 dominate my followers at – drumroll please – 76.3%.

I was just reading a report in the NY Post that claims people start losing their sense of humor at age 23, mostly because they’re supposed to be all serious at work.

The report said the average 4-year-old laughs as many as 300 times a day, whereas the average 40-year-old will take two and a half months to log that many chuckles.

I’m thinking most of those 40 year olds are women, chastising their husbands and teenage sons for enjoying inappropriate humor… kinda like I hear my mom doing to my dad when he’s quoting Peter Griffin and Quagmire from Family Guy.

So anyway… Guys… I want to officially welcome you to Team AssRabbit, where its all fun and games, even if you get sent to your room for biting your sister’s neck.

Pee Hiss - My momanager says Hekk will freeze before she turns my account over to Dadders. Sez we are both AssRabbits and the world could not survive two of us.

June 28, 2023

A Happy Accident


Greetings! This is Candy posting by accident on our family blog. Yes! Just moments ago I was on my momma's desk and rubbed against her desk window screen and guess what happened?

I created a new post!

Momma didn't realize her desk window screen is also a touch screen. And kitties like me can make it do stuff she doesn't necessarily want it to.

So this is a real eye opener for her.

I don't have my own social meowdia and sadly, I'm feeling left out. 

However, Momma now realizes she's in a pickle and it's her own fault. She has a lot of wonderpurr kitties, but the majority of us aren't known because we stay in the background of our popular fursibs Dori and Rabbit.

Momma is juggling too many Instagram and Facebook and Twitter accounts, plus a blog - I guess she's referring to this one - and she's also ghostwriting Rabbit's book, Diary of an AssRabbit. She's also playing Nurse to our seniors and other stuff... like dealing with summer heat, which she hates so much.

So I understand she's going to combine accounts in order to bring the rest of us out of hiding. I'm so excited! 

I guess while I've got your attention I would like to remind you to be aware of how the summer heat affects your fur babies. You would think by now hoomons would know better than to leave a fur in a hot car, even with a window cracked, and the hot pavement is torture on naked paws. And having lots of fresh water available is dire. We are drinking down big bowls every day. So those of you who have blogs and social meowdia accounts, please do your part by reminding everyone to think twice when they let their furs outside or take for a walk or ride in a car.

Momma has also started putting out a big bowl of iced water for the wild life. Her squirrels and a murder of crows are coming to our yard every day wanting water and also the leftover kibbles. We have a pond across the street but it has turtles and a small alligator, and frankly I doubt the squirrels from our yard go that far to get water. So having water in our yard is both appreciated and necessary.

Well, I'm so glad I got to say hello to you all, and hopefully I will get to say hello again soon. Now go off and enjoy your day!

Love, Candy

June 27, 2023

When Someone Gives You TMI, All You Can Do Is Turn Up The Volume


Hi evfurrybuddy. It's me, Dori. *wavy paws* I hope yoo enjoyed a wonderpurr weekend filled with adventure, relaxation and delicious noms that yoo normally don’t eat Monday through Friday. Like hot dogs.

On Caturday I wanted a hot dog while I watched sports on teevee with Daddy, but Momma told me No!

She said there’s not a lot of actual meat in hot dogs, even when it's listed as a top ingredient. They are mostly water and fat, with a tiny bit of meat in the traditional sense. The meat that is used is lower-grade and has been turned into sludge.