Welcome evfurrybuddy to my newest feature here on It's a Wonderpurr Life - Intermews of a Lifetime. I'm yoor host, Adorapurr, but furends call me Dori and I consider yoo a furend. *wavy paws*
I'm vewy excited for my first intermew to be with a truly wonderpurr group of ladies who are also sisfurs, each from diverse backgrounds, and highly accomplished in their fields. Please welcome Misty, Lisa and Sophie from Instagram's @Misty.s_World.
DORI: Misty and Lisa, and Sophie, thank yoo so much for taking time away from yoor bizzy schedules to be interrogated... *everyone hears loud coughing off stage* I mean.... Intermewed on my new Tuesdays
with Dori show, Intermews of a Lifetime. Misty, since yoor name is prominent on everything to do with yoor brand, I will start with yoo.
As CEO of Misty.s_World_Boutique are yoo legitimately
taking wesponsibility for yoor company being a Star Seller on Etsy, or are yoo willing to confess *leans forward with anticipation* that yoor just the Face
of the company like Flo at Pwogressive and do little more than lie around
waiting for the next meal to be served?
MISTY: Flo from Progressive does little more than lie around waiting for her next meal? My respect for her has suddenly increased ten fold! As for me, as the Cat Expecting Opulence (CEO), I take full responsibility for my Etsy store being a success. Good leaders always assume responsibility, and I shall continue to do so until something goes wrong. Then I'll shift responsibility to my mom.
Our current business structure is that my mom does all the actual work, whereas I am sort of the representative for the products and services. I think the official term is brand mascot, but that kind of has a derogatory tone to it. I prefer "Product Ambassador". Such ambassadors make brands stand out, and make them easier to recall. Some firms use humans as ambassadors, but I feel that animals serve far better in such positions.
Since you mentioned the insurance industry, look at their mascots. You have Flo from Progressive, Jake from State Farm, Mayhem from Allstate and Professor Burke from Farmers. All humans. But when a poll was conducted to see which insurance character was the favorite, the GEICO Gecko came out on top, six percentage points above the top human. Animals simply have more charm and are more trustworthy than humans. So even though my contribution may seem small, I feel that it's quite vital. I make the product seem special, and I prevent the ads from being routine and monotonous. I'm kind of like Vanna White was to Wheel of Fortune, dispensable yet indispensable. Wow .... I think I need to demand a raise!
MISTY: It varies with the season, but when averaged out over the year, Custom Pet Magnets come in at the top. This makes perfect sense. Many cultures have home shrines dedicated to a specific deity, ancestor, saint or similar figure of respect, wherein they are venerated or worshipped. In pet households, we pets are venerated, and maybe on occasion, even worshipped. So I think our charming images on refrigerators serve the same purpose as a household shrine.
MISTY: That would be Classic Horror Movie Posters on Magnets or Stickers. The best sellers are the classic Universal Studios monsters of the 1930s, like Frankenstein and Dracula. Maybe people long for a time when society appeared normal and the only horrors were on the silver screen, as opposed to today, when the world outside our doors is filled with all kinds of unmentionable horrors. Coming in close behind the horror movies in sales, are Art Masterpieces on Magnets, with Vincent Van Gogh, Gustav Klimt and Frida Kahlo being the most popular. Let me just finish this question by saying that buyers can save 15% on orders by using the code LISA2024 in my store atcheckout. Maybe I should come up with a "...will save you 15%" slogan like that GEICO Gecko.
DORI: I’ve noticed yoo are a wegular pawticipant of the weekly hashtags on Instagwam. What are yoor favorite Hashtag days of the week - Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Thursday, Sunday, Saturday - and why?
MISTY: Since I pride myself on my individuality, I'm kind of embarrassed by my conformity with the hashtag days. On the other hand, there's comfort in it, like a sort of affinity. I do have my own, which is #mistysmondays in appreciation of the Cat Community of Instagram. I think my favorite though, is #wickedwednesday where I can show off some of my acts of unprincipled, reprehensible behavior towards my family members.
DORI: Yoo were born in Las Vegas but had to leave under mysterious circumstances and move to seclusion in the Appalachian Mountains. Now that yoo are being forced to live out yoor life as an average schnook, have yoo been able to get a decent spaghetti with marinara sauce?
MISTY: It wouldn't have been such a shock had I come to Appalachia from, say, Greasy Corner, Arkansas or Trout Creek, Montana. But having spent the first five years of my life in one of the most renowned and glamorous cities in the world, it was traumatic. And still is! My sisters adapted well, but they both had less glamorous beginnings. Lisa was a street kitten from a rundown section of San Antonio, and Sophie was a feral kitten from the moors of Northern England. Now in Appalachia, Lisa fits right in with the Hillbilly Varmints, playing dueling banjos in front of Cooter's Chili Dogs and Live Bait Stand, and Sophie has her friends, the Voodoo Cats of New Orleans, up to search for poisonous mushrooms in the mountain forests.
For an aspiring socialite and self-proclaimed super-meowdel like me though, there just isn't much here. But I'm doing okay nonetheless. Fortunately the Norfolk and Southern Railroad line from Philadelphia to Pittsburgh runs through town, so I've made a deal with their upper management. I'll stop removing their rails for scrap iron if they'll have trains stop a few times a week to deliver to me some Spaghetti with Shrimp Marinara or Blue Cheese Lobster Beignets With Spicy Avocado Cream and Garden Vegetable Sauté.
DORI: Yoo’ve been quoted as saying “when humans go to their doctors, they are not put in small cages like we are. Between our two species, humans are clearly the more violent and unpredictable ones! If anyone should be in cages, it's them.” Would yoo care to exhaust this statement further, and how is yoor class action lawsuit going for false imprisonment and resulting trauma?
MISTY: Human hospitals need their own security forces, and Emergency Rooms in big cities even have actual police stationed in them. But when was the last time you saw a security officer in a veterinary clinic? It is humans who pose the greater threat to society, not us pets. So my lawsuit is progressing, but a little slower than I'd hoped. Most people think that all a class-action lawsuit involves is signing up online and then waiting 2 years for a virtual Mastercard worth $2.57 towards online shopping. It's a lot more complicated though. First, settlement is not divided equally. The lead plaintiff receives the most money since they typically have the worst injuries and the highest damages. I'm hoping for a few million, so I need to prove that I suffered millions of times more than everyone else. And then there's taxes. If I deduct my traumatic medical expenses from my taxes, I'll have to pay tax on my settlement. What kind of a land of the free is this? I wish now that I'd stayed awake during my semester of pre-law.
DORI: On August 2, 2022 yoo stated, “Having experimented with these IG reels which are supposed to promote growth, we've actually lost followers and have had no more likes than our normal photos. So after today, we'll be joining the initiative of @princesshoneybelle in ignoring IG's ridiculous algorithms and reverting back to the photos that won us friends to begin with. If I were interested in a popularity contest, I'd act sanctimonious and promote myself to the tabbyloids.”
My question is, out of the 125 posts since yoor statement, yoo’ve posted 35 reels, and Honeybelle has posted 89.Would yoo say Honeybelle’s #bringbackcutecatphotos has had the same kind of impact on Instagwam that #susanalbumparty made for British singer Susan Boyle to promote her new album? Please elaborate. *props chin in paw*
MISTY: The success or failure of a reel seems to depend on the whims of those programming IG's algorithms, which seem to change more often than I change my handbags. I've had reels with over 10k views and others with less than 200. So I just went back to basics, posting photos or videos however and whenever I pleased. I'm not going to devote large portions of my life to trying to understand the science, or favoritism behind IG's algorithms. As for the hashtags, I think Honeybelle's had a greater impact for the purpose it was intended for. I think the one for Susan got more attention though, and for this I must commend whoever thought it up. Hashtags are written in Scriptio Continua, or continuous script. Sometimes people see such script differently if more than one set of words can be formed. It seems that with Susan Boyle's #susanalbumparty, more minds were focused on capitalizing the first A, the B and the P rather than an album party for Susan.
DORI: Let's now chat with the exquisitely gorgeous Pwesident Lisa who has found herself occupying sun puddles instead of the Oval Office since losing the last election. While voters have pwotested that she did indeed win the election, sadly there is no tracible evidence of her ever running for anything other than a freshly cleaned litter box. Lisa, as the true Pwesident of Ameowica, how are yoor 2024 we-election campaign promises different from yoor initial campaign promises?
LISA: Well first, I just wanna say that I'm one tickled pink
tortie at finally having the chance to speak for myself. So if you wouldn't
mind, I'd just like to take a minute to introduce myself. (Misty covers
her face with her paw). Well I'm just a simple country girl from the streets of
San Antonio, but I just knew right from the start that I was designed for big
things someday.
MISTY: Like the Double Burrito Special at the Taco Truck.
LISA (turning head away from Misty): But I ain't never forgot where I came from, and I'm just real comfortable with everybody, from all classes and all walks of life. I'm just as comfortable talking with the Hillbilly Varmints as I am talking with the Los Gatos Biker Gang. So I really think, what with reelection coming up, that I oughta spend more time talking with the press. (Glares at Misty) I mean, who ever heard of a president whose Administration tried to keep 'em from talking to the press?
MISTY (to Lisa): Just answer Dori's question before you get us in trouble.
LISA: Okay, so campaign promises. Well my reelection ones ain't really no different from my initial ones. I mean, I just put some stuff out there that the masses can get behind without really understanding it. Then after the election, I just do whatever the highest bidding lobbyists want me to do. That's political insight. Now last election, some human politicians had some Green New Deal thingy which made a lot of people happy, probably because green is a nice summertime color. So we took it and made it all the better by changing it to the "Green Mew Deal". I used to have it written down on a napkin what it means, but I think I used that napkin. Anyways, this time the humans are talking about spreading influence 'round the world with something called the Rule of Law. Well I think I should spread my influence 'round the world too. There's a lot of them foreign food dishes that look real tasty and I'm just dying to try 'em. But I need something with a catchy ring to it for my global dominoes, so I'm changing it to the "Rule of Claw" to appeal to all my feline supporters. I'm gonna say it means that them with the claws, makes the laws. Aint I sharp?
MISTY (with paws folded): Like a greased marble.
LISA (to MISTY): Admit it, Miss Highfalutin Diva, you laughed at some of them things I used to yell at the movie screens.
MISTY: Until you got us banned from AMC Theaters.
LISA (to Dori): Just don't pay her no mind. What else was you wantin' to ask me?
DORI: I understand yoo are concerned about the global gas crisis and have committed yoorself to finding a cheap source of natural gas. My wesearch has wevealed methane from cattle farts and burps has a warming potential 25 times that of carbon dioxide. As part of yoor campaign for we-election, have yoo possibly considered eliminating cows from the planet?
LISA: Oh I remember that! You know, I got sidetracked on that mission when I came across some natural gas that Sophie herself was producing in her laboratory / litter box. Actually that was some unnatural gas, and I got Sophie looking into weaponizing it, if'n it ain't against no chemical treaties we're supposed to be following. But as far as them cows, ain't no way I'd ever think of eliminating them from the planet. First, we ain't got no treaties with other planets to take 'em, but also, 'cause I kinda like 'em right here on earth. I mean, without 'em, who'd do them cute ads for Chick-fil-A up on them billboards? Oh, and between us, them Chick-fil-A cows are the only ones who can write proper English worth a lick. So my plan with the cows is to just kind of plug 'em up with big corks during the summer, then in the winter, we'll send 'em up north, unplug 'em and let 'em go to town! Think how much heating oil we'd save if we had winter heat powered by farting cows.
DORI: Pwesident Lisa, are yoo aware of any classified papers that may or may not be hidden in yoor pwivate commode?
LISA: Well, that area doubles as my presidential study and library. I got me some classified ads in there that I read during my quiet time. I found a great barbecue grill from some lady over in Pixley who was using it to heat her house, before it burned down. And once I found a slightly used toilet that I use as a planter now. I'm hopin' to put it in the White House Garden someday, when I finally take it back from that old guy. I don't know about no hidden classifieds in there though, unless Sophie was reading them Third World, Black Cat Market classified ads again, looking for inexpensive weapon parts or vital organs.
DORI: Yoor "Build Box Better" initiative wecognizing that cardboard is the only way forward sounds logical to felines across Ameowica. Here I’m quoting Misty saying, “Lisa will sign an Executive Order that sets an ambitious new target to make half of all new vehicles sold in 2030 zero-emissions, cardboard boxes. The Executive Order also kicks off development of long-term emissions standards to save consumers money, cut pollution, boost public health, advance environmental justice, tackle the climate crisis, and boost profits from our investments.” My question is: what is yoor stance on the effect downpours, deluges, floods, and snowstorms may have on Build Box Better? I may have my wesearch wrong, but it sounds to me like those box cars are gonna turn to moosh.
LISA: Wow, is that what all them papers said that I signed? I'm smarter
than even I knew. But hey,
Dori, I know that cardboard ain't no good in water. I didn't just fall off the
taco truck yesterday, you know.
SOPHIE: Yes, that would have been Friday.
LISA: We got all that worked out, with rain and floods and them dell-huges too. See, cardboard can be made waterproof by something called Polly-You're-Insane.
MISTY (hanging her head and sighing): Polyurethane.
LISA: That's what I said, dummy. (Turning back to Dori): So to offset the cost of a box, we give the citizens money called sub-cities or something like that. That'll make everyone think they're getting a good deal. Then it'll be up to them to put that polly stuff on at their own expense. We could start right away and get all that environmental stuff a-going now, but we gotta wait 'til our brokers can corner the market and buy up all the stock of that polly stuff.
MISTY: Not for personal gain, of course, To protect it from hostile, foreign takeover, and of course, to give us profits to reinvest in infrastructure.
LISA: She knows that, Misty. (Turning back to Dori): Except for schools. No funds for them. They get way too much money already.
MISTY: What?
LISA: Just last week I paid $225 just for driving 35 miles an hour in a school zone. Them schools are raking in money right and left.
MISTY (sighing): Dori, can we move forward, please?
DORI: Let’s get purrrsonal. Who is yoor favorite sisfur, Misty or Sophie, and why? *Glances slyly at Misty*
LISA: Oh heck no, you ain't trapping me with no loaded question like that! Besides, I'm a leader, a role model; I can't play no favorites. It's like asking who's my favorite campaign donor, or my favorite money launderer, or my favorite buyer of political favors, or my favorite place to get free tacos when we're out campaigning. So it's the same with my sisters. I love them both equally, and besides, I damn sure ain't giving one of these unstable long-hair nutcases no reason to be opening a can of whoop-ass on me .... again.
DORI: And finally, I wish to chat with the gloriously gorgeous supurr-senior, Sophie. Misty, would yoo do the honor of waking her up? While we are waiting for Sophie to join us, let's hear from our sponsor.
DORI: Welcome back to Tuesday's with Dori and my new show, Intermews of a Lifetime. Today I am featuring Misty of Misty's World and her sisfurs, Lisa and Sophie. Now that our supurr-senior Sophie has awakened from her nap, had a dwink of water and took a short bweak in the litterbox woom, let's begin our intermew.
Sophie, it's noticeable that yoo’ve
played a very small role on Misty’s Instagram. Over the past year yoo’ve only
been featured 12 times, mostly in the background. However, at one point the
pawpawrazzi showed yoo on the verge of a murderous rampage after yoo read
online that someone was twacking yoor cookies. As an octogenarian supurr-senior
it’s understandable that senior moments happen. My question is, are yoo willing
to admit here on Intermews of a Lifetime that yoo’ve lost your cookies? No offense!
My sisfur ChauncieMarie just turned 18 and every morning my momma follows
her around with a dish of food while CM wanders from woom to woom, unaware of anyone behind her.
SOPHIE (with long, drawn out syllables): Good evening, Dori,
and thank you for visiting us. But tell me, how were you able to breach the
island's defenses?
LISA: I think she done answered your question, Dori.
SOPHIE: No matter, although you should know that no one ever leaves here alive. Not even me.
MISTY (to Lisa): Did you give her her meds today?
LISA (to Sophie) : Sophie sweetie, answer Dori's question 'bout your cookies.
SOPHIE: Yes, I believe someone was tracking my cookies, and I do seem to recall a murderous rampage afterwards. Several maybe .....
MISTY (to Lisa) You sold her meds to those homeless cats behind the drug store again, didn't you?
SOPHIE: I found my actions to be most embarrassing afterwards, once I regained control.
LISA (snickering): She ain't had no control since she buried the remote.
SOPHIE: And most un-British-like of me.
MISTY (to Lisa): I knew that extra breakfast burrito didn't come
from campaign funds.
SOPHIE: As a Dame Commander of the Order of the British Empire, it was my duty to the Queen to have kept a stiff upper whisker and to have pressed on in quiet dignity while plotting revenge.
LISA: Oh you ain't gotta worry 'bout the Queen no more, Sophie. She----- (Misty stops her by motioning her paw across her throat).
SOPHIE (ignoring Lisa): And so, I have calmly and quietly taken steps to safeguard my cookies by keeping them on my person. (She stands and holds up a rucksack) Any sharp movement of this bag will trigger a response within 30 minutes, of a squadron of no less than 250 killer drones, which will descend rapidly and completely obliterate everyone and everything in a 750 meter radius. (She attempts to sit and drops the rucksack. It falls hard on the floor and begins to beep faintly)
MISTY (with eyes wide): Sharp movements like that?
SOPHIE: Basically, yes.
LISA: You can shut it off, right.
SOPHIE: Oh heavens no. That would make it susceptible to hacking.
MISTY: Um, Dori, do you think you can have security remove that bag?
SOPHIE: No need. The drones will have already locked on to this position. Did you know that the thieves said that cookies increase performance? Preposterous. How can a cookie increase performance?
LISA (nervously): She can't be serious (looking at Misty): Can she be serious?
SOPHIE (ignoring the others): Unless it's those steroid-laced cookies that Misty used to sell at the Feline Olympics.
MISTY (to Dori) Uh, Dori, maybe there's time for one more question before we wrap this up.
SOPHIE: If they want my cookies, they must wait for them to go on sale to the public, at my upcoming seminar, "Eliminating Stressful People From Your Life".
DORI: And finally, Misty, Lisa, Sophie … is there any question I can ask that might make yoo cry? Tears are gweat for ratings. Heavy sobbing is even better. *poises pen to take notes* Might even win me an Emmy for Outstanding Informational Series.
MISTY: Well, despite my words of contempt for humans, I think I speak for my sisters when I say that we really do love our own humans. So a question that may cause some quivering of lips and some moist eyes on our parts may be, "Where do you think you'd be today had you not been adopted by your parents?" I was born in a dingy trailer park next to a used car lot in a bad section of East Las Vegas. I was excessively feisty from day one, and as a result, I was the only kitten of my litter not adopted. Had my parents not taken me, I'd probably be living in the extensive sewer system under Sin City. Lisa would be in San Antonio, eating from the dumpsters behind Chipotle and Taco Bell, and Sophie would be hunting badgers and Scottish wildcats on the cold, wet moors of Northern England. There, see? I do have feelings.
LISA: Hey, that ain't true. I'd be hitting them Olive Garden dumpsters if anything.
DORI: And with that let me thank yoo all for joining me today. And a big thank yoo to my weaders for spending yoor time here on It's a Wonderpurr Life. If yoo are as charmed by Misty and her sisfurs as we are, yoo can find them on Instagwam, Facebook, Twitter and of course they have their Etsy shop.
Below are the links to each of their Social Meowdia accounts. And please don't forget Misty has gwaciously pwovided a code to use in her Etsy store for a lovely 15 purrcent off yoor next purrchase.
Buyers can save 15% on orders by using the code LISA2024 in Etsy store at checkout.
Until Next Time...
How fun and you did a great job, Dori. You rock.
ReplyDeleteThank you for joining the Happy Tuesday Blog Hop.
Have a fabulous Happy Tuesday. ♥
Furrbulous Interview. More - More
ReplyDeleteWOW, that was a wonderful AND very insightful interview, well done!
ReplyDeleteThat was a real fun interview, Dori. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you for joining the Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous Wordless Wednesday. ♥