Sneaky Ways Humans Give Us Medicine

DORI: Welcome to Kick the Litter, a bwand-new feature here on It’s a Wonderpurr Life where members of our family, comprised of cats from varying backgrounds, generations, and bweeds, gather each week to mix humor with intelligent debate over Hot Topics that pertain to not only us, but to cats in general all over the world. Hi evfurrybuddy, I’m yoor host, Dori, the Baba Wawa of the cat blogging world. *wavy paws* 

JESSE: Each week we choose our topics with the intention of educating human caretakers, many of whom have the wrong impression about caring for cats. Sadly, it’s an uphill battle, but we hope our debates will bring an awareness and open dialogues among humans to benefit us all.

 

PEACHES: Today’s subject for discussion is especially dear to those of us on this panel. Never once have they asked our opinion on what we think about having pills hidden inside our food. Today’s Hot Topic is:

SNEAKY WAYS HUMANS GIVE US MEDICINE.

FRANK: Wasn't Rabbit supposed to be on this panel?

DORI: He was, but he's been locked in his ZenDen after getting an extra large dose of Jackson Galaxy's Bully Solution slipped into his breakfast after what went down this morning. He's sleeping it off.

FRANK: I don’t see why I need to be on this panel. Opie should take my place. He gets pills shoved down his throat all the time. *moves to leave*

DORI: Sit down, Fwank. Yoo were chosen for this debate because yoor noms contain sneaky stuff to address yoor chronic urinary tract infections.

FRANK: What? Naw. I eat the same stuff as the rest of you.

PEACHES: I don’t get your prescription kibbies, Frank. Nor do I get the canned prescription veggie chicken noms hidden under your Fancy Feast pate.

FRANK: Well, I’ll be a crabby tabby. Now I’m hissed.

DORI: Nobuddy likes to be fooled, Fwank. All my life I’ve been picked up - not to be cuddled - but to pop a tiny pill down my froat before mealtime. Deep ‘n Dark Confession: I was borned with Feline Herpes.

PEACHES: Yes, Dori, we all know your sad little story. Let me talk about my—

DORI: My birth momma, Annie, had it, and as a result her one eye looked blind because she never got it treated because she was homeless her whole life.

FRANK: Cue the violins.

JESSE: Shush, you two. Ah’ve never heard this story. Ah’ve been a garage cat all these years.

DORI: After our human pawents officially adopted me, and I’d been inside the house for a few months, I got a weepy eye and the sniffles. Momma thought I had a cold. But then the doctor said I had feline herpes. And it was contagious!

JESSE: Contagious?

FRANK: We all have it just by living in the same house with Miss Ground Zero.

JESSE: What the Friskies! Why was Ah not told this?

PEACHES: You were a garage cat, remember? And who were your Garage Bandmates, Jesse?

JESSE: Chevy and Nikolas.

DORI: Nikolas is my birth daddy. Sadly, he has the herpes too.

JESSE: You mean to tell me Ah’ve been rooming with the daddy to Miss Ground Zero all these years and nobody told me? Anybody got the name of a good lawyer because Ah’m gonna sue.

DORI: Yoo can’t sue me, Jesse. I didn’t ask to be borned with this virus. I didn’t ask to be adopted either, but I was. It’s not my fault. That’s what my pwivate littergator, Pwetzel Kitth tells me.

PEACHES: I’m going to address me now, if its okay with you, Miss Ground Zero. Because of you, I too suffer from weepy eyes, coughing and having powdered pills hidden inside my food. Our human mom thinks she’s being sneaky, but I know its there. I can taste it. I’m not stupid. I know what’s going on.

DORI: It’s demeaning when she picks me up and pushes a pill into my mouth. She rubs my froat to make me swallow, although I often tuck the pill into the corner of my cheek and spit it out later.

PEACHES: Mom doesn’t dare pick me up to shove a pill down my throat. I have teeth and claws, and I know how to use them. They don’t call me the Queen of Torbietude for nothing!

FRANK: No one calls you the Queen of Torbietude, Peaches. And I don’t eat anything that tastes remotely funny.

PEACHES: And that’s why Mom picks you up and plunges her finger down your throat with a tiny pill on its tip. You don’t have a choice but to swallow it.

FRANK: And all this time I thought she was just clumsy with her hugs.

DORI: Jesse, want to take a stab at how Mom gets yoo to swallow medicine?

JESSE: Oh, Ah’ve never had any medicine. Ah don’t have any teeth, you know.

PEACHES: Not having teeth has nothing to do with having a sneaky pill in your food.

DORI: Momma crushes the pill into powder and then hides it inside those delicious Churu’s yoo love so much.

JESSE: What? But Ah loves them chicken puddings. You mean there’s medicine in ‘em?

PEACHES: Not all the time. Most of the time they’re just treats. You just never know.

DORI: Unless yoor eye gets runny, or she hears yoo sniffle. Then… beware chicken puddings.

JESSE: Gimme that number to your littergator, Dori. Ah’m definitely gonna sue.

 

PEACHES: Before we end today's program, let's all wish our Supurr Senior ChauncieMarie Happy 18th Birthday. She went from a homeless, boy-crazy, street cat mom, to an amazing lady who isn't letting age keep her from enjoying her retirement years in Florida.  If you want to read her Rescue Story please click her image below.

JESSE: To everyone joining us today, thank you for your time. If you’ve enjoyed today’s show, I invite you to share it with those who may also like our panel discussions. And please consider adding your email to our list – located on the sidebar – so you don’t miss next week’s Hot Topic: The Stigma of Being FIV+.

DORI: Fwiends, we invite yoo to leave a statement of yoor discontent in our comment section. Do yoor humans sneak medicine into yoor noms, and are yoo aware of it?

PEACHES: By leaving a comment, you may be eligible to join our class action suit against our caretakers for unauthorized medicating without our purrmission.

FRANK: I can’t believe all this time I thought Momma was just clumsy at giving hugs.

DORI: And don’t forget to return on Tuesday for my new feature, Wake Up Call.

Until Next Time…