He Who Must Not Be Tolerated

 

Hello Frens, this is Dori. *wavy paws*

Today is Tuesday, and I'm feeling distwessed.

First of all, I hope yoo are experiencing fresh air and sunshine now that Spring has sprung.

At my house Daddy purrchased flowers in blue and yellow and pink to brighten up our front porch. Those are Momma's favorite colors, and make her happy. Daddy says if color makes Momma happy, then by gosh he's going to buy every blue, yellow and pink colored flower he can find.

Now that I've got the pleasantries out of the way, back to me feeling distwessed.

Seek First to Understand

 Dear Diary – While lounging in my momanager’s lap this weekend, I demanded she pay attention to me instead of the book she was reading. She told me, “After I finish this chapter about Seek First to Understand.”

“What’s that mean?”

An Opportunity to Help Fight Cancer

 

Hi evfurrybuddy, it's me, Dori. Today I am here to ask yoo for help for our friend, Jaymee Dale, who is fighting for her life. 

Not only her life, but also the life of her Turkish Angora, Vonnie, who has been very sick.

Yoo may already know Jayme is sick with Mantel B Cell Lymphoma Stage IV, a rare and aggressive cancer believed to be caused by Pyrethroids sprayed in her apartment every week for six months.

St Patrick's Day Breaking News

Hi evfurrybuddy. This is Dori, yoor Bweaking Nooz reporter with the LATEST SCOOP on how hoomons came up with March 17th to celebwate Saint Patrick's Day.

The Leprechaun Trap - a Wonderpurr Cattoon

 

This week's Cat-toon features me, the resident AssRabbit, setting a trap for a leprechaun. Heard they might offer someone treasure if they're caught. Let's see what happens.

Breaking News: Escaped Boat Drama

Hi evfurrybuddy! This is Dori with BWEAKING NOOZ!

This morning a MYSTERIOUS unidentified boat was found STRANDED along the shoreline in my nooz territory.

I was INSTANTLY on the scene to bwing yoo my purrsonal report.

Could this boat be STOLEN?

Possibly by a DRUG CARTEL?

Possibly by CRIMINALS from Cuba or maybe even DAYTONA BEACH?

Enquiring minds want to know, and I'm here to give yoo the SCOOP!

 

Cellmates, Farewells and Name Changes

 ​Dear Diary​ -

This morning around 4 am I was shocked and delighted to see Mom thrust Frank into my ZenDen with me. 

As Frank tells it, he had a strong urge to harass Jesse the Toothless Wonder, and chased the dude up over the refrigerator into the loft. There Jesse screamed like a Drama Queen. 

Side note: although not having a single tooth in his mouth, his scream carries amazingly strong throughout the house, and directly into Mom's ears, despite her being relatively comatose.

I later overheard Mom tell Dadders that she'd spent the worst night ever, what with Peaches insisting on draping herself over her legs, and Dori sitting beside her head, tickling her with her whiskers, licking her face, and wiping her wet nose on her cheek. So when Jesse screamed "HAAALP," that was the final straw.

Breaking News - Closet Space Not Sparking Joy

 

Bweaking Nooz! 

In conclusion...

It is my opinion that closets are the Devil's invenshun, meant to inflict fwustwashun and anger issues by tempting hoomoms to be so sentimental about old stuff, that they cannot bear to let go, even long after it has ceased to spark joy. Not exactly a quote from Marie Kondo, but if yoo have overstuffed closets, then yoo get my point.

This is Dori, Fake Nooz Repurrtor for Wonderpurr.com.