Retired and Loathing in Palm Coast

For reasons that now escape me, I allowed Ray to accompany me to Target. I split my grocery shopping between Target and Publix because Kroger does not have stores within a bazillion miles of me.

I really miss Kroger. I had two within a three miles from me in Southaven. And a huge Target in between them. I was so spoiled. I had no idea how much I would miss Kroger with it's cool app, and points that went toward my gas, and my favorite brands. They have Kroger delivery here that you have to use an app to order but no stores. And I love Kroger stores.

But I digress. I am writing about allowing Ray to accompany me to Target.

Ginger Kitty and Jumper Cables

 

Hi evfurrybuddy! It's me, Dori *wavy paws* all excited because Christmas is on Caturday next week. Is it just my momma, or did Christmas get here way too fast? She said all her energy went into shopping and wrapping gifts, so this year she's skipping the part where she traditionally bakes biscotti.

I got a surprise package this week from Miz Janet over at The Cat on my Head who said she thought I needed Ginger Kitty, a little toy that looks like a gingerbread cat, to make me feel better. I've had a rough year because of Wabbit, who now thinks I'm his prey and needs to be hunted at all cost. He is not James Bond. Wabbit does not have a license to kill. So I had to move into the master bedwoom to live wif the seniors in order to avoid him. 

Nurturing Gone Wild

 

Hi evfurrybuddy! Welcome to another Tuesdays with Dori. I'm yoor host, Dori! *wavy paws* 

Today I am here to discuss a twagedy that my momma may not ever recover from. 

Yoo know how she had dozens of raccoons, and possums, and a few ground hogs at our house back in Southaven? For years she tossed peanuts and dog kibbies, and sometimes the neighbors would drop off leftover donuts and pizza- although I have yet to see any leftover pizza in our house cuz my daddy does not stop eating until the last piece is gone - out our back door to where the furry children of Mother Nature thankfully awaited their meals. It took her a couple years to wean the raccoons off of the free meals, but she did right before we moved last year.

Remembering Pete Cusack

I always looked forward to Tuesdays with Tim. Timmy Tomcat was the Face and Meow over at Tomcat Commentary by Tim. Yesterday I got the heartbreaking news that his daddy, Pete Cusack, had passed away on November 20th. And it does hurt my heart to know I'll never again read one of his funny blog posts. He had such heart and love for his cats. His blog now stands as a testimonial for us to remember him by.

That last thought stuck in my head yesterday, thinking about how, at any given time, I could pass and leave behind not only eleventy-billion cats, but also my blog as a remembrance to my life here among the cat bloggers. I know of several cat bloggers who have passed, and yes from time to time I return to remind myself that a single post can live in the hearts of those who knew me, albeit via the blogger world. 

Hot Air Affair - Date with Baunilha

 Dear Diary,

My Zoo Boo Date with Baunilha kinda freaked her out. I thought it was a blast, what with the winged monkey and the tigerkeet, but hey. I'm a guy. Us guys have different ideas about what's fun to do on a date. Clearly, since she's refused to go out with me since Octopurr.

I hate to say it, but I had to beg. Even writing the word makes my sphincter clench. It goes against my reputation as an awesome AssRabbit, But Dori said begging is a part of dating, and Mom agreed.

Zoo Boo Date with Baunilha

 

Dear Diary,

My Birthday Date with Baunilha, the lovely kitteh from Portugal, went well enough that she agreed to accompany me on another date. 

I'm thrilled she wants to see me again, and feel I can outdo the last date, even though Mom confiscated her Ameowican Express cawd after she got the bill revealing the price of Baunilha's birthday presents.

Without a credit cawd, I couldn't take my date to an all you can eat place, like I'd hoped to. Our last date went pretty good when we stopped shopping and got to eat stuff. So I made a list of things to do with Baunilha that didn't require a credit cawd.

1. A slam poetry reading...
2. Amateur comedy show...
3. Local Zumba class...
4. Karaoke...
5. McDonald's refuse bin...
6. My parents house...
7. A blood donation drive...
8. Pick Mushrooms...
9. Friday Night Box Pawty

I showed my list to my pals Peanut aka PretzelKitteh and Peanut aka ImABoatCat, and they both strongly recommended I rethink my list. I asked for ideas and this is what they came up with:

The Great Pumpkin Interview

Hi evfurryone, this is me, Dori. *wavy paws* I hope yoo are all enjoying a beautiful autumn, and not overindulging in pumpkin spice everything.

Today I am joined by my littergator furend, Pwetzel Kitteh. Due to the wurld we live in where evfurrybuddy sues over stoopid stuff like not enough strawberry in a Pop Tart, Pwetzel (his real name is Peanut, but I'm his favorite client so I get to call him Pwetzel) has agreed to accompany me during my intermew with The Great Punkin. Just in case he gets overly sensitive and decides to sue me for my Bweaking Nooz questions.

Birthday Date with Baunilha

 

 Dear Diary,

It all started when my furend Baunilha said she didn't have a special birthday celebration:

I knew Baunilha from Instagram. She's part of the @CacauBaunilhaSul family. They live in Portugal.  Their names translate into English as Cocoa, Vanilla and South. 

The Great Romance

 Hi evfurryone, it's me Dori, back from a bweak forced upon me by my momanager who says the summer hoomiditty has melted her bwain cells, and she lost her energy to do anything more than binge watch Yellowstone. Beth is her favorite character. 

Anyway! Let me tell yoo what's been happening at my house:

Mixing It Up with Country Fairs and Dental Scans

 

Hello Furends and their Pawents. This is Kim, hip-checking Dori and Rabbit, and the rest of the Wonderpurr Gang aside for a little me time on my own damn blog. I've noticed most of us pet pawrents rarely step in front of the camera, so to speak, but when you're going through a semi-burn out like I've been this past summer... um... year... it's time to mix things up.

I am not a fan of summertime humidity, but here in Flory-Da, as Dori refers to our new home state, it feels like humidity is a way of life. I tend to move slowly throughout my day, like I'm wading through an invisible wall of damp heat. My joints have notified me that unless things change, they will ramp up the inflammation, and I will cease to enjoy physical activity... like walking without pain.

THE BOSS RABBIT

 

Next Caturday, Octopurr 16th is BOSS'S DAY. So today's Wonderpurr Cattoon is dedicated to all BOSSES out there in the Blogosphere. And not just the hoomon kind. My Dadders usta be a boss. Then he got old and retired. But Mom never stopped being a Boss. Boss of us all, including Dadders. At my house I'm second in line to be Boss, mostly cuz I have no filter, or OFF switch. 

Remembering Sadie

Hi everyone, this is Herman!!! coming out of retirement to pay tribute to my bestie, Sadie, the sisfur of my other bestie, Phi. 

When I first joined the Anipals, Phi was one of the very first to welcome me. We clicked as besties pretty fast, despite her being a doggo and me being a kitteh. That’s what I loved about being an Anipal. Species didn’t matter. Heart did. And boy, those Anipals had a lot of heart. I made so many many many furends over the years, but Phi and me, we just completed each other. 

Celebrate the Fall but Beware of Getting Barfy

 

Remembering 9-11 Twenty Years Later

I remember that morning like it was yesterday.

I worked at a Kentucky law office inside a 200 year old farm house sitting in the middle of 300 acres. It was also a wine vineyard. My employer Joni’s family owned the biz.

There were maybe six of us at work that morning, still in the process of getting our coffee and finding our Tuesday mojo. The secretary to Judge Tackett had her tv on. Her shout had us all running into her office. When the second plane hit the towers, the judge’s wife, also a lawyer, immediately said “Osama Bin Laden.” I had never heard of Bin Laden.

I called my husband at work. He had been in a meeting and hadn’t yet heard what happened. His office occupied the largest buildings in Memphis. His HR director started freaking out to the point where someone had to calm her down.

After watching the panic on tv for an hour, we were sent home. I spent the rest of the week watching the 9-11 tragedy unfold. Every night that’s all America ingested. Every night for months.

Pumpkin Spice Insanity

Bad to the Bone Magazine Covers

 

Well, there they are, The last of the magazine covers won by the nominations for my 1st Annual Golden AssRabbit Awards. I gotta tell you, I'm glad I wasn't competing with these guys. I'm bad, but... sheesh! Even my blood pressure rose while reading their bios. Please applaud the following five Bad Furs:

Naughty but Nice Magazine Covers - Part 2

 

Hey evfurryone, it's me Rabbit, back with more Naughty but Nice magazine covers for those who entered my Golden AssRabbit Awards contest. There was some really great competition this year, but I have a feeling next year's contest is going to dig even deeper into the diary's of some Bad Furs. Here are the magazine covers for the remaining Naughty but Nice category:

Naughty but Nice Magazine Covers - Part 1

Today I reveal the first five of the Naughty but Nice magazine covers. I want evfurryone to know how much we appreciated them taking the time to enter my contest. This was our first year doing it, and we weren't prepared for the great response. Be warned: Next year we will be. Anyway, without further delay, here are some of your Naughty but Nice pals:

BREAKING NEWS! Pumpkin Spice Everything is Here!

 

This is Dori with BWEAKING NOOZ! 

It's here! Pumpkin Spice Everything is here, ready to tempt yoo into overindulging before Fall officially arrives.

If yoo peak too early, don't say I didn't warn yoo, because there is nothing more I can do for yoo.

Sweet & Sassy Magazine Covers - Part 2

 Welcome back to part 2 of the Sweet & Sassy magazine cover reveal. We put a lot of effort into these covers to coordinate with the bio sent to us for the Golden AssRabbit Awards. I hope evfurryone enjoys them:

Sweet & Sassy Magazine Covers - Part 1

 

Hi evfurryone, it's me, Rabbit. Last Friday I announced the winners of my 1st Annual Golden AssRabbit Awards. As promised, throughout this week I'm posting the prizes my mom made for everyone who entered.

Today I'm posting four of the entries from the Sweet & Sassy category. After I post, I will email the magazine covers to the winners.

So without further delay, here are the first four covers from the Sweet & Sassy category:

2021 GOLDEN ASSRABBIT AWARD CEREMONY

 

Welcome to the 1st Golden AssRabbit Awards ceremony. I'm your host, Rabbit aka Hermes_LuxuryCat on Instagram. I'm also the Original #AssRabbit <- note my hashtag. I never go anywhere without it.

When I put out the call for nominations, I never expected this much competition. We had a total of twenty-three Bad Furs send in their stories. So many great stories that me and my momanager realized quickly that there was no way in hekk that we could choose just one Golden AssRabbit.

Okay, simmer down. I know you're anxious to know who the winners are, but I gotta tell my story. No fair scrolling down. Just WAIT FOR IT! Sheesh.

Proud of my Black Cat DNA

Hi evfurryone. It's me, Dori! *wavy paws* Sorry I didn't post this on Tuesday, but my brofur Wabbit was wurking his Golden AssWabbit Awards, and if I posted then the pals who visited our blog to vote would get confoozed. 

Anyway! Did yoo know I have Black Cat DNA? It's true!

My momma was black and beeUteeful. Her name is Annie. On a cold Decempurr night, she arrived on her own to my future forever home's backyard, looking for food and shelter for her family, comprised of her husband, and four 2-month-old kittens. She found raccoon noms, but when my future Meowmy saw her, she put out special kitteh noms. 

Alas, my future pawrents were leaving the next morning to spend Christmas in Michigan. Momma told our sitter, Michelle, to leave extra noms out for Annie. So when Momma returned, not only did she see Annie, but she also met the rest of us!

My daddy, Nikolas:

GOLDEN ASSRABBIT VOTING BEGINS

Welcome to the 1st Annual Golden AssRabbit Awards - PAWBLIC VOTING ROUND. I'm your host, Hermes LuxuryCat, aka Rabbit aka The Original AssRabbit.

While not everyone is a born AssRabbit like me, I feel, given time, they all can achieve my high standards.

With that said, I asked four unidentified judges to review the Nomination Bios, and, using my Soopurr Doopurr AssRabbit Stress-O-Meter, divide them into three categories:

After the Nominees were divided into the categories, they were asked to pick their choice for the winner of the Golden AssRabbit trophy. The winner was based on which Fur caused the blood pressure to raise for three out of four judges.

The reason why we had the Judges pick the winner of the Golden AssRabbit is to avoid popularity conflicts. Listen, we had to go the Ends of the Earth to find at least two judges who have no idea who you guys are. Yeah, I know. Nearly impossible! We were one step from knocking on the door to the Sunset Codger Care Rest Home to ask for Judge volunteers when finally two clueless hoomons crossed our path. 

Since 50% of the Judges did not know the history of the nominees, they could only vote based on the entry alone. 

Based on your votes, the winner of each Category will win a Trophy. 

Now, I invite you to cast your votes. 

Under each Category, vote for your First Choice. One per category. 

i.e. You are casting 3 votes total.

You can submit your votes two ways:

1. Leave a comment in this post. We will not publish any of the votes, so have no worries your vote remains confidential. 

OR

2. Vote by Direct Message in Instagram @Hermes_LuxuryCat.

Remember - you are voting for one who qualifies best for each category below:

THE GOLDEN ASSRABBIT AWARD NOMINATION BIOGRAPHIES

You know how "they" say it's lonely at the top? Well, it's also lonely being the only AssRabbit in my house. 

All my fursibs are so goodie goodie. It's exhausting for me to keep the atmosphere charged with HD and NE. That's High Drama and Negative Energy to those of you not living with a purebred AssRabbit.

Anyway, I thought since I crave acknowledgement for bad behavior, I figured there are other furs out there who also needed to be recognized. Thus, I created the (drum roll please)

How We Celebrate Friday the 13th at Our House

For too many years the world has turned inside out at the mention of Friday the 13th. Superstitious hoomons believe stepping on cracks will break their mother's backs, and walking under ladders will bring eleventy-zillion years worth of bad luck. But by far Black Cats get blamed the most for bringing bad luck to stupid hoomons who honestly bring on their own misfortune by being just plain idiots.

Black cats have always been celebrated at our home. Mom and Dad have shared their lives with countless black cats that went by the names Whisper, Sami, Cookie, Nicholas, Noah, Charlie, Etta, Elly, Gidget, Jesse. Sami, Nikolas ... and more. So when Friday the 13th rolls around, at our house we celebrate our ebony furkids because we feel so LUCKY to have them share their Nine Lives with us.

Winner of BASKET CASE: Who Wore It Best

 Thank you to all who voted for me. I've never won anything in my life...except maybe the Lottery when I found my Forever Home. Love, Candy

Basket Case: Who Wore It Best

Hi evfurrybuddy! It's Tuesdays again, and I'm Dori. *wavy paws* By now yoo probably know all about how my brofur Wabbit is hosting a contest called The Golden AssRabbit Awards. It's designed for naughty furs who frustrate their hoomons.

Lately I've tried to be naughty so I can enter the contest, but Wabbit says NO. I can't enter, and neither can any of my other fursibs. He's such an AssWabbit!

So I decided to have my own contest. Below are some of my sibs who have enjoyed a pawtikular basket on our kitchen counter over the past year. Because they were all so envious when I got featured on the cover of MEOW magazine, courtesy of the talented Nai Salter, meowmy to Jazzy Jazz and the Furry Bunch, I decided to make them each the cover meowdel of their own magazine while sitting in the basket.

Happy Cat Day

Happy World Cat Day!

Happy International Cat Day!

No matter what you call it, Cats are Wonderpurr, and deserve to be celebrated every day!

1st Annual Golden AssRabbit Awards

 

Hey, pals! It's me Rabbit, aka The Original AssRabbit. When my mom asked what I wanted to do for my 4th Birthday (on August 21st) I said I wanted to host a contest to celebrate my  furends caught being naughty. So we launched the 1st Annual Golden AssRabbit Awards.

Chazz the Dog - Always an Angel

Hi, this is Dori *wavy paws* My bestest doggy boyfurend, Chazz the Dog 1, went Over the Rainbow Bridge on July 19th and bwoke my little heart. It's taken me this much time to write a Tribute to Chazz. His mommy and my mommy are bestest furends, and we love Chazz's Aunt Athena too. 

Minutes after Chazz went to heaven, Aunt Barbara called my mommy to share the sad news. We grieve with her because Chazz has been much loved by us starting way back to 2011 when my big brofur Hwermie invited Chazz to sing in the Christmas choir. Chazz told Hwermie that he was Jewish. Hwermie said that's great. We will sing Chanukah songs too, and my momma made Chazz an avatar for the concert.

COVER GIRL

 

Sorry I couldn't post this on Tuesday. We didn't have internet or teevee since Monday. The problem was inside the control box in our laundry room. But it's all fixed now. Thank Cod!

So Nai Salter, the momma of my furend @Jazzy_Jazz_and_the_Furry_Bunch, made me a cover meowdel for MEOW magazine. I am so happy with this, I wanted to show yoo.

Wishing  yoo all a Wonderpurr weekend!

Love, Dori

My Bespoke and Made to Order Prizes by Kerky Kat Boutique

 Hi evfurrybuddy, this is Dori. *wavy paws* Today I'm vewy excited to show yoo all the wonderpurr pwizes I won when I entered Fudge's Giveaway on BionicBasil.com. The package flew all the way to my house from Mewton-Clawson in the United Kingdom. They were pretty exhausted when they arrived on Fri-yay, so Momma said to let them rest over the weekend. 

There were a lot of pwizes in the box, even some for my Momma. A bwacelet, and a keychain and a note book with pen, and a change purrrse, which intrigued me, but then Momma showed me what was inside the purrrple tissue papurr... and this is what happened.

BATHROOM JAIL

Dear Diary, Today is the 21st. One month to my 4th birthday. It seems like yesterday when I arrived at my Forever Home, filled with all these gullible house cats. You would think after almost three years and eleven months they would have a clue about my sense of humor. Alas, compared to my superior Turkish Van DNA, their intelligence is right up there with field mice. Especially my precious little DoriDeer. She believes every word I say, and then goes running to Mom to blame me for tricking her. 

The Subject is Closet Space

 

Welcome to another Tuesdays with Dori. I'm yoor host, Dori. *wavy paws* 

Today I want to discuss Closet Space, or lack thereof. Let me say right up fwont, I do not purrsonally own a closet. Nor do I see actual need for closets. 

It is my opinion that closets are the Devil's invention, meant to inflict fwustwashun and anger issues by tempting hoomoms to be so sentimental about old stuff, that they cannot bear to let go, even long after it has ceased to spark joy. Not exactly a quote from Marie Kondo, but if yoo have overstuffed closets, then yoo get my point.

Before I go much further, let me first give yoo my Bweaking Nooz report.

BOX HOG

 Dear Diary, 

Why am I always made out to be the villain? Okay, so maybe I can be a bit more enthusiastic about life. I'm almost four, and every day is a new oppurrrtoo
nity for a great adventure.

Like today. Mom bought some cool triangle boxes. What a great idea! They felt amazing under my paws. Fresh and unique. Cool and comfortapurr.  All I wanted was to enjoy these new boxes, but then along comes Miss Bweaking Nooz repurrtor Dori, and next thing I know, my plans to enjoy these boxes turns into a big deal. 

I'm thinking Dori and the Gang make stuff a Big Deal just because I saw it first. Pffft!