March 23, 2021

A Peopley Kind of Week



Humans are exhausting. I live with two, so I know what I'm meowing about.

Last week I was denied my social media experience because my meowmy was overwhelmed by stuff like the air conditioning system being replaced on Wednesday, so Chevy and my daddy cat Nikolas had to spend all day in Jesse's room, and Nik of course peed on something cuz that's how he rolls... Then on Caturday my pawrents were waked up by the front sidewalk being ripped up and twee woots being chopped out at six o'clock in the morning. 

You see, the week before Daddy got a notice from the HOA peoples that the sidewalk needed to be replaced. The house is 15 years old and that twee has been growing woots for at least ten, so why after being here nine months or so do my pawrents have to shell out the big bucks to get it replaced? Because that's how Life at Chateau Wonderpurr has been since we moved here. It's the gift that keeps on giving...or rather, taking.

Not my pwoblem! Why should my social media suffer?

I asked Momma, but she had no answer. She just sighed and went to wescue Elly who was screaming because Wabbit was chasing her. I've noticed Momma buying a lot of wed wine lately.

Life at Chateau Wonderpurr is a give and take of constant energy swirling in a vortex of anxiety mixed with unexpected events. A phone call might bring joy or growling under brefs. That's why I don't have a pawphone. I get enough joy from playing wif my dolly, and growling when Wabbit hunts me and gwabs me by my neck to woll me like dice.

Good news is that Momma got her first vaccine, and Daddy gets his this coming Thursday. One impawtent step toward getting the Normal back to our lives. Momma got the Moderna and had a little ache in her arm, but it was gone in a day or so, and she had no other side effects.

On Friday my pawrents drove to Daytona Beach so Daddy could buy his brother a biker tee shirt for his birthday. During Bike Week its very peopley so they avoided the area during BW. A week later they found a shop and bought the tee, and then decided to walk down to the beach to see if they could find a good place on the water for lunch. 

As they walked they passed Carol's Cat House, and there was Carol on the doorstep, smoking like a chimney. At least she smoked outside, away from the clothes she sold and the cats she had in the back room. By now I'm sure evfurryone knows that ciggie butt smoke clings to our furs and when we lick the furs, we ingest the toxins. Momma knows someone who smokes who has lost several pets to cancer, and yet she still smokes. So sad.

Anyway, this Carol lady is a rescuer, and spends a lot of time and money TNRing the strays who live around the local cemetery. She and Momma talked for about ten minutes, and then Daddy dragged Momma off because when Mom is talking Rescue, time stands still. The beach was crowded and the only restaurant with a view was Bubba Gumps, which isn't a favorite of Daddy's, so they drove down to Flagler Beach to their favorite place on the water. No peoples, and a table was available in the sunshine overlooking the water. Turns out it was the best decision of the day.

We are now enjoying nicer days with Spring officially here. Daddy planted Banana trees in our Catio, which will fruit teeny nanners. When my pawrents lived in Jacksonville they had a huge banana plant in their yard. It took a few years but eventually produced sweet bananas.

Well, that's my wepawt for this week. But before yoo scamper off, please enjoy a moment from my Catio:

Until Next Time...



March 17, 2021

The Leprechaun Trap - A Wondepurr Cattoon

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Hi everyone, this is Dori. Surprise Numpurr 1: It's not Tuesday. Surprise Numpurr 2: It's not Caturday. Surprise Numpurr  3: It's St. Patrick's Day and I have a Wonderpurr Cattoon to share with yoo featuring a Leprechaun who didn't lawyer-up after a run-in with the AssRabbit. I know, that sounds incredible. So, without further adieu, let's find out what happened when Wabbit set a trap to catch a Leprechaun.

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March 13, 2021

What Time Is It?

 


Welcome to another Wonderpurr Cattoon. Today's feature is What Time Is It starring Frank and the lovable, but thoroughly obnoxious Ass Rabbit.

March 11, 2021

Florida Wildlife Featuring Ibis



Last month Ray joined a Facebook group devoted to sharing information about Flagler Beach. He was told by the owner of our favorite Italian restaurant, Tuscany, (featuring two huge slices of pizza and one large soft drink for $5.00 - Ray's all about great pizza with an even greater price) that the group will post about whales spotted along the shoreline. He really wanted to see whales this year, but alas that didn't happen.

However, a couple weeks later someone mentioned a huge flock of Ibis roosting at sunset in a parking lot that just so happened to be where my hair salon is located. Even though I knew exactly where the flock was, and that Ray himself had been to the strip mall where he got his car license tags, he carefully punched the directions into his Google Maps, and away we went.

A couple weeks earlier I'd filmed a group of Ibis hanging out along the side of the road, enjoying a rain puddle. I'm always amazed by how much wildlife we see along side the road. Ibis, vultures, herons aplenty.

As we pulled into the parking lot we saw a couple cars parked off to one side with people standing on the curb. I had never noticed the pond before, but there it was, and there were already over one hundred Ibis settling in for the night. Ray told me he'd read there were alligators in the pond. Well, duh. Where there's water, there's sure to be alligators around here.

We were there for about thirty minutes, and the birds kept coming, like they'd also subscribed to the Flagler Beach for Friends group and knew exactly where to go. In no time the group had doubled, and still they kept coming. I felt rather bad for those late-comers as they had a struggle finding a decent branch to settle on. All that was left were those flimsy ones near the bottom.


March 09, 2021

Invasion of Strangers


Happy Tuesdays, furends! This past week has been very exciting upsetting due to mass invasion by Stranger Danger. I've never spent so much time under the bed!

Actually, it's pretty nice under the bed. There are cushions, pillows, cat toys, and couches. Also a wide-screen HGTV with surround sound, a mini-bar with chilled bottles of cream and designer water, and a kitchenette for late-night snacks.

March 06, 2021

Passing Time Until Lunch - A Wonderpurr Cattoon

 

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Welcome to another Wonderpurr Cat-toon. Hope you are having a beautiful Caturday! Today's cat-toon features Opie and Jack, two best furends who can spend all day just hanging out, enjoying each other's company. Let's see what they're chatting about today.

March 02, 2021

HOW TO FOIL A FAKER


Hi Furends! This is Dori *wavy paws!*

The other day I was shredding an old AARP magazine when I spied an article about how 85% of hoomons are confident they can spot an imposter, but the majority flunk an Imposter IQ quiz. Fwankly, I’m worried.

These hoomons are responsible for keeping us in the luxury of which we are accustomed to. If they get swindled by con artists, they will have less to spend on us.

I consider it my pawblic doody to inform yoo of nefarious ways these fakers are taking advantage of our doddering hoomons, so yoo can be on the look out and stop the fakers before they steal the treats right out of your moufs!

Here are ways AARP says our hoomons are being fooled by fakers. (I’ve shredded the magazine so I’m pawraphrazing here.)

Jury Doody

Official Sounding Faker: “This is Judge Judy Wapner calling from the county courthouse. You’ve missed jury doody. Either pay $300 now, or go to prison.”

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Our Doddering Hoomon: “Gosh! I don’t want to go to prison. Here’s my credit card, my Social Security Number and the password to my online bank account.”

Utility Company Scam

Official Sounding Faker: “We have a utility truck parked in your neighborhood, ready to shut off your electricity if you don’t pay the past-due amount on your bill tonight.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Gosh! It’s seven o’clock. It’s supposed to go below freezing tonight! I thought I paid my account, but I trust you. Here’s my credit card, my Social Security Number and the password to my online bank account.”

The Gov’mint Faker

Official Sounding Faker: “I’m calling to notify you of your unclaimed property with our state.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Unclaimed property! Is it from Aunt Margaret’s estate? She just passed away, and all she left me was her collection of Neil Diamond records. I don’t have a record player. Plus I never liked Neil Diamond.”

Official Sounding Faker: “I can release Aunt Margaret’s property to you, if you pay $300. I will also need her Social Security number.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Oh dear! I don’t have her Social Security number.”

Official Sounding Faker: “No problem! I can check it through yours. I will also need your credit card number and bank account password.”

The Ticket Scalper

Official Sounding Faker: “We represent Star Struck Tickets, and you’ve been chosen to get seats for the Ed Sheeran concert for a huge discount, if you act quickly.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Gosh! I’d love to take you up on your offer, but… Who is Ed Sheeran?”

Official Sounding Faker: “Some British singer. I also have Pink tickets.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Does a pink ticket cost less than other colors?”

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Official Sounding Faker: “What about Metallica?”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “I’m prone to migraines.”

Official Sounding Faker: “Justin Bieber?”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Will he take his shirt off? I don’t like tattoos.”

Official Sounding Faker: “What about Susan Boyle?”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Oh, does she sing too? I just loved her as Erica Kane on All My Children.”

Official Sounding Faker: “I’m not supposed to do this, but if you act now… You can have two Whitney Houston tickets for the price of one. All I need is your credit card, your Social Security Number and your password to your bank account.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Sold!”

The Bank Faker

Official Sounding Faker: “We have detected a problem with your accounts. We will need you to verify your personal information.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Oh dear. I will hurry right over.”

Official Sounding Faker: “No! We need you to verify over the phone so we can confirm you are you, and fix the error.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Okay. What information do you need?”

Official Sounding Faker: “Your bank account number, starting with the 9-digit routing number. We will also need you to verify your date of birth and driver’s license number.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Do you also need my Social Security Number?”

Official Sounding Faker: “You betcha!”

The Kitten Breeder

Official Sounding Faker: “Our blue ribbon purebred Turkish Van, Hermione, just had a beautiful litter of purebred kittens. They are usually sold for $700 a piece, but for today only, you can have a kitten for $200!”

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Our Doddering Hoomon: “Gosh! What a great deal. I’ll take two! Here’s my credit card, my Social Security Number and the password to my online bank account.”

The Lottery Winner Faker

Official Sounding Faker: “I represent the Ontario lottery, and I’m excited to tell you that you’ve won $1 million! All you have to do is pay the import tax and fee, and we’ll send you your winnings.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “This is so exciting! I’ve never won anything. How much is the import tax and fee?”

Official Sounding Faker: “Only $500.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Oh dear. That’s a lot of money.”

Official Sounding Faker: “One million dollars is a lot more money.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “I know, but… I’m supposed to take Frisky for his shots tomorrow. I may not have enough to pay both your fee and his veterinary bill.”

Official Sounding Faker: “Well, you sound like a nice person, so… I’m going to do something I’m not supposed to do. I will change the fee to $300, but only if you ACT NOW. Think of all the treats and toys you could buy Frosty with one million dollars?”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “It’s Frisky, but for one million dollars, I’ll change his name! Here’s my credit card number.”

Official Sounding Faker: “I will also need your date of birth and Social Security Number to verify you are who you say you are. You know how the government is.”

The Police or Fire Department Fakers

Official Sounding Faker: “We’re raising money for local officers/firefighters injured in the line of duty. How much will you be donating today?”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “How can I say no?”

The IRS Faker

Official Sounding Faker: “Our records show you are at grave risk for large fines for unpaid taxes. You must settle this situation immediately to avoid going to jail.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Oh dear! Do you take American Express?”

Stranger Danger!

AARP says never listen to a pitch from a stranger, be it on the phone, in person, or over the internet, without first independently verifying they are legitimate. They didn’t indicate in the article exactly how to verify they’re legitimate, so my advice is to tell them that before you commit to anything, especially giving them money, yoo will first need to call their corporate office to verify the offer. And not necessarily a phone number they give yoo, either. Honestly! Do I have to think of everything? Go Google how to avoid getting scammed. Google won't steer you wrong! *coughs into paw*

For me, the best way to never be a victim is to consider whatever they’re selling to be a scam—and walk away with your tail in the air.

So! How vulnerable are your hoomons to official sounding fakers? Have them click on the link below to take the Imposter IQ Quiz to find out.

IMPOSTER IQ QUIZ

Pee Ess. My hoomons got 100% right on the quiz, so tonight we’re celebrating with Starkist toona noms.

Before I leave, I want to wish my daddy a very Happy Birthday!

He's not old, just funny in the head.

-quoting my mom

Until Next Time...

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