Meet Chill Bill

Hey pals, Rabbit here. You may not know it about me, but I can be a handful, stressing out my pawrents and my older fursibs. Especially when I’m bored, which is like… all the time.

Then one day I found this strange duck sucking on the wall. He called himself Chill Bill. Said he'd come to help me calm the hekk down by providing me with unconditional love like the kind my mother gave me when I was just born. Since I’ve turned my pawrents once-peaceful home upside down by acting out, I gave Chill Bill my attention.

He didn’t ask me to talk about hating my mother because she gave me up for adoption, or my deep regrets for not achieving my dream of buying my own Black Forest Ham farm. He just sucked on the wall plug, filling the air with aromas that made me feel good. Feel loved. I told him I didn’t think anyone in my home loved me except Mom and Dadders. I admitted I was sad because my only friend Dori had a restraining order against me. I haven’t seen her in months. 

Chill Bill listened, and the more he listened, the calmer I felt. Oh I haven’t undergone a personality change. I’m still an AssRabbit. Yesterday I was hell-bent on making Candy run so I could chase her, and I got put in my ZenDen for a time out. And when I was released, I discovered Chill Bill had a twin sucking on another wall plug. I sniffed him and felt the same comforting vibe I'd had with his brother. 

For the rest of the day I hung out with my sibs without making them scream. And that night Chill Bill – or his twin, hard to tell cuz they look alike – joined me in my ZenDen, filling my room with invisible positivity. 

My mom is a cat rescuer and most of my fursibs are seniors, so she’s determined they enjoy their golden years without stress. She was looking at me when she said that, so I guess Stress is my middle name. But Chill Bill reassured me he’s here for the long haul to help me become a friend to my fursibs, and not a foe. 

My new friend Chill Bill fills me with feelings of comfort. I'm a calmer version of my usual chaos-creating self because of Chill Bill and TheraPetMD. You can quote me.

If you need to have a Chill Bill of your own, check out TheraPetMD. This isn’t a paid advertisement. I just wanted to share my success with this product. Stay chill pals.

Rabbit Receives Much-Needed Advice from Dr. Basil

 

Pals, Rabbit here. Yah, long time no meow, mostly cuz our momanager has allowed Dori to monopolize our family blog. Pffft! That's show biz, I guess. Anyway! I happened upon the homesite of the Bionic Basil B Team last week and saw Dr. Basil is back to giving advice.

Years ago my brother Herman consulted Dr. Basil on various topics, and was even fortunate to meet his momanager in purrson at the Blogpaws conference in Myrtle Beach. Good times, good memories. So when I was growling about feeling unappreciated, Herms recommended I unload my issues on Dr. Basil and see what resolutions he could come up with.

Boy, do I feel vindicated! Dr. Basil has a phenomenal background in understanding the feline psychic and as a result, he totally got me.

Please do yourself a favorite and click the image below, not only to read Basil's advice, but also to find our how you can get your problems resolved by the ultimate expurrrt in feline problems.

You won't regret it! Until ... well. Whenever cuz clearly everyone's darling Dori has full reign over this blog. Purrs, Rabbit.

Pee Hiss - if you have a Facebook or Instagram account, check meow. 

I'm @Diary.of.a.Mad.House.Cat on Instagram and...

I'm @DiaryofaMadHouseCat on Facebook.

First Day of Summer Backyard Morning Rush Hour

Dear Diary...

Today is the First Day of Summer! We are getting hit by huge storms. Last night our two huge water bowls got flooded. Dadders emptied 30 buckets so today’s storms don’t flood our Catio.

As I watched morning rush hour pass by, Cornelius Crowbird stopped to catch me up on neighborhood gossip. He saw the big white poodle, Flagler, out for a stroll with his daddy, and the Woodstocks at the end of the block got a notice from the HOA to remove that giant peace sign off their front lawn as it offends one of the neighbors. Cornelius didn't say which neighbor, for fear of retaliation. I will pass along updates if there are any.

I also got a little wurk out in atop my ball spinner thingy. I've watched Candy and Frank gently paw the ball, but... Pffft! So lame when you can sit on it and spin that sukka like I do. So much more action!

And then Barbie deer stopped by to tell me she and her sisters were moving to higher ground because the severe storms have flooded the area where they usually sleep. This is Florida and higher ground - especially a mile from the ocean where we are - is probably a slight mound of grass-covered dirt. Still, she was pretty adamant about going, so I didn't bother to argue.

Are you getting storms at your house? Storms in Florida mean the start of hurricane season. I can’t wait! Last year Hurricane Ian stole our power for a couple of days and ripped a roof panel off our Catio. Immediately giant birds started circling overhead as though they were Forest Gump looking down at us cats like we were inside a box of chocolates. Dadders made a temporary cover for the missing screen that kept us safe until the repair dudes could fix it a month later.

Hurricane Nicole showed up on one of the final days of Hurricane season in November and devastated Daytona Beach down the road from us. People lost their homes from wind and flooding. It was very scary, but at my house we breezed through it without damage or losing power.

Here's hoping Hurricane Season 2023 is lame and a big o' failure.

And that's my report for today. Purrs, Rabbit

Diary of an AssRabbit - Regretful Monday

Anybuddy else having a Regretful Monday? Thinking that homegrown catnip I got off of Misty at @Misty.s_World was a bit more potent than I'm used to. Probably her Appalachian Mountain air adds a THC-ish kick we don't get here in Florida.

All I'm saying is... I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done. Amirite?

PeeEss - bet you checked @ShiteyKitteh's IG didn't you?

Top 10 Irish Insults

Today everyone's favorite AssRabbit is embracing his Turkish-Irish roots with his Top 10 Irish Insults. Of course... what else would you expect from an AssRabbit?

Click the photo to visit Rabbit's on-line diary blog - Diary of an AssRabbit.

And if you are Irish... brace yourself.

Also wishing Gidget a Happy Gotchaversary today. Check out her green eyes.

 

Stunning Revelation for Christmas

 Big News! Here I've been killing myself trying to get on to Santa's Nice List, when all the while... I've been a Shoe-In!

An AssRabbit Christmas Carol

 

Before Rabbit joined the Wonderpurr Gang, we had the normal type of hissy fits that happen when cats from different backgrounds merge under one roof. Then I brought home a three-month-old kitten with rabbit-soft fur.

Zoo Boo Date with Baunilha

 

Dear Diary,

I try to make my dates fun with Baunila, my Portuguese girlfriend. Trouble is, like most girls, she gets all nervous when it comes to scary stuff.

I love scary stuff. I love to jump out at my sisfurs and make them scream with either fright or fury, though I still can't tell which cuz it all sounds the same. And I love to prowl the catio at night when flying predators are skulking about in the trees, swooping overhead like they might be hunting me.

Yah, that's a real tail-biter kind of feeling. Like I could become owl poop. Yow!

Early to Bed

 

Hey, Pals. Rabbit here. I'm joining Feline Friday for the first time because I wanted to show off my new bed.

I'm a big boy, and Mom thought I looked cramped in the cat tree I used in my ZenDen. So she scoured the Facebook Marketplace and found a toddler's bed for sale. It is like new because the kid's school never had a sick kid to use it. 

This weekend Mom is headed to a yard sale to see if she can find a proper set of sheets and maybe a comforter. Meanwhile I've got a couple of blankets.

Dear Monday - You Are Hereby Cancelled

Dear Monday: You are hereby given notice to leave the premises immediately and not return. 

So far you are being blamed for Daddy stepping in a Gidget-gross hairball first step out of bed. 

You are also to blame for crows tearing apart the trash bags on the curb shortly after my Dadders put them out.

You made Momma spill 95% of her breakfast shake, making a mess of epic proportions. Plus she had used the last of her strawberries and was devastated. 

Also, the gooey drink dripped over the counter into the drawers, as well as soaked her shoes and shorts. Not a good look, I assure you. 

Seek First to Understand

 Dear Diary – While lounging in my momanager’s lap this weekend, I demanded she pay attention to me instead of the book she was reading. She told me, “After I finish this chapter about Seek First to Understand.”

“What’s that mean?”

“Essentially, it implies that you become more interested in understanding others, and less in having other people understand you. If you want fulfilling communication that benefits you and others, understanding others must come first.”

To which I replied…

“Pffft! I’m a cat. I’m all about me.”

Cellmates, Farewells and Name Changes

 ​Dear Diary​ -

This morning around 4 am I was shocked and delighted to see Mom thrust Frank into my ZenDen with me. 

As Frank tells it, he had a strong urge to harass Jesse the Toothless Wonder, and chased the dude up over the refrigerator into the loft. There Jesse screamed like a Drama Queen. 

Side note: although not having a single tooth in his mouth, his scream carries amazingly strong throughout the house, and directly into Mom's ears, despite her being relatively comatose.

I later overheard Mom tell Dadders that she'd spent the worst night ever, what with Peaches insisting on draping herself over her legs, and Dori sitting beside her head, tickling her with her whiskers, licking her face, and wiping her wet nose on her cheek. So when Jesse screamed "HAAALP," that was the final straw.

Valentine's Day Date with Baunilha

 

New Years Date with Baunilha

From our home to yours, wishing you a new year filled with joy, health and above all, true friendship.

Hot Air Affair - Date with Baunilha

 Dear Diary,

My Zoo Boo Date with Baunilha kinda freaked her out. I thought it was a blast, what with the winged monkey and the tigerkeet, but hey. I'm a guy. Us guys have different ideas about what's fun to do on a date. Clearly, since she's refused to go out with me since Octopurr.

I hate to say it, but I had to beg. Even writing the word makes my sphincter clench. It goes against my reputation as an awesome AssRabbit, But Dori said begging is a part of dating, and Mom agreed.

Zoo Boo Date with Baunilha

 

Dear Diary,

My Birthday Date with Baunilha, the lovely kitteh from Portugal, went well enough that she agreed to accompany me on another date. 

I'm thrilled she wants to see me again, and feel I can outdo the last date, even though Mom confiscated her Ameowican Express cawd after she got the bill revealing the price of Baunilha's birthday presents.

Without a credit cawd, I couldn't take my date to an all you can eat place, like I'd hoped to. Our last date went pretty good when we stopped shopping and got to eat stuff. So I made a list of things to do with Baunilha that didn't require a credit cawd.

1. A slam poetry reading...
2. Amateur comedy show...
3. Local Zumba class...
4. Karaoke...
5. McDonald's refuse bin...
6. My parents house...
7. A blood donation drive...
8. Pick Mushrooms...
9. Friday Night Box Pawty

I showed my list to my pals Peanut aka PretzelKitteh and Peanut aka ImABoatCat, and they both strongly recommended I rethink my list. I asked for ideas and this is what they came up with:

Birthday Date with Baunilha

 

 Dear Diary,

It all started when my furend Baunilha said she didn't have a special birthday celebration:

I knew Baunilha from Instagram. She's part of the @CacauBaunilhaSul family. They live in Portugal.  Their names translate into English as Cocoa, Vanilla and South. 

Bad to the Bone Magazine Covers

 

Well, there they are, The last of the magazine covers won by the nominations for my 1st Annual Golden AssRabbit Awards. I gotta tell you, I'm glad I wasn't competing with these guys. I'm bad, but... sheesh! Even my blood pressure rose while reading their bios. Please applaud the following five Bad Furs:

Naughty but Nice Magazine Covers - Part 2

 

Hey evfurryone, it's me Rabbit, back with more Naughty but Nice magazine covers for those who entered my Golden AssRabbit Awards contest. There was some really great competition this year, but I have a feeling next year's contest is going to dig even deeper into the diary's of some Bad Furs. Here are the magazine covers for the remaining Naughty but Nice category:

Naughty but Nice Magazine Covers - Part 1

Today I reveal the first five of the Naughty but Nice magazine covers. I want evfurryone to know how much we appreciated them taking the time to enter my contest. This was our first year doing it, and we weren't prepared for the great response. Be warned: Next year we will be. Anyway, without further delay, here are some of your Naughty but Nice pals: