An AssRabbit Christmas Carol


Before Rabbit joined the Wonderpurr Gang, we had the normal type of hissy fits that happen when cats from different backgrounds merge under one roof. Then I brought home a three-month-old kitten with rabbit-soft fur.

It didn't take long for the kitten to turn into a Turkish Van Tornado. Talk about Cattitude. This dude reeked of Vanattitude, and quickly divided and conquered the Wonderpurr Gang.

While opinions were formed about Rabbit and decisions made to not include him in any reindeer games, Dori was the lone holdout, For nearly five years she remained his constant ally, despite him repeatedly hunting her down, jumping on her back and putting the bitey on her neck. 

In his defense, Turkish Van's are said to be the oldest natural breed dating back to Noah's Ark, still running wild today in Turkey where they originated. A DNA that dates back that far is sure to be complicated with a lot of innate desires to hunt prey. Plus they are easily bored and when they are not being entertained - like 24/7 - they will make their own entertainment. Thus, poor Dori succumbed to being his chosen prey.

This past year that ended when Dori had had enough. She lawyered up and moved into the Senior Room, behind locked doors. Seriously, the door is locked from the outside because Rabbit can open doors.  God help me.

Still, he's not a bad guy. He is affectionate... kinda... when he throws himself into my arms and pretends to fall asleep with his mouth open and his fangs gently pressing into my skin.

Ray and I both feel rather sorry for Rabbit. He is tolerated by his fursibs. Only Frank, KC, Candy and Elly choose to roam the house while Rab is free of his ZenDen, a room that should have been my office, but instead was given to him - with locks on the outside - in order for the rest of the Gang to have freedom to wander between 4pm and 9am., the time when Rab is in his room. It's a nice room. Has a toddler bed, two cat trees, a One Fast Cat wheel, a bazillion toys and a huge window overlooking the street. He knows more about what's going on in our neighborhood than I do.

The other day Ray wondered aloud if Rabbit would eventually simmer down to behave like a normal cat, allowing the others to move freely throughout the house without need for a locked Senior Room. I didn't bother to answer. Just thinking of this incredibly energetic cat slowing down, and easing into his Golden Years makes me sad.

Still, there is always hope that one day Rabbit will wake up and realize his life just might be a lot fuller if he steps back from being a full time AssRabbit.


  1. Rabbit, we do not believe that you can tame your instincts.
    We too have doors, dividing the cat space so some can remain sedate (Sweetie) without being pounced upon (Da Boyz).

  2. I think you need a treat! (you were good for a WHOLE week!! wow that's awesome!)

  3. You're on the nice list. All kitties are on the nice list.

    Have a purrfect day and rest of the week. ♥

  4. Oh Rabbit you should get the bestest purresents ever! You sound like a kindred spirit. I like to jump on Teaghan and put the bitey on her. And I howl at the door where no kitty goes and scare the pawrents half to death sometimes. I hope I still get purresents too. If you do, then I know I will! MOL
    Your pal, Tommy

  5. AssRabbit, I think you did get Santa's attention so that's some real progress!

  6. I think you deserve to get presents from Santa. Your house sounds like ours with cats having turns out of their room so no one gets hurt. XO

  7. Top marks for trying, Rabbit. I hope it works because Santa watches 24/7!

  8. Rabbit, I'm sure Santa Paws will put you on the Nice List...for trying. ~Ernie


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