Black Cat Diary of a Horrible Mornin'

Frens, dis be me, Jesse da Toofless Wonder. Nice to meet ya'll. Ah doan get much oppurrtoonitty to get off da kitchen counter an' socialize, but Ah had a rough mornin' an' so Ah'm takin' control of today's blog post.

It all started when ma Mama dragged me out of ma loft condo ‘n stuck me in a Bad Box. Bad Boxes only come out for visits to Doktor Feelgood. Affer a long drive in da car... Yup. That’s where Ah ended up.

While waitin’ ma Mama attacked ma claws with special clippurrs. Lemme tell ya, Frens, when you don’t have teef you gotta grow some pawerful murder mittens to protect yerself from ex-street thugs like Frank ‘n pretty lil scary grrrls like Dori (although she’s simmered down a lot and Ah’m not bothered about her no more.)

At home Ah’m verra determined not to give up even a small piece of ma claws - Ah eben put a formidable bitey on Mama once but she laughed ‘n said it tickled; so cruel to hear when Ah wuz being ferocious. Anyway, ma Mama be a sneaky Yankee grrrl ‘n quickly robbed me blind of ma claws while Ah was on da table tryin’ hard not to cry.

Once robbed of ma nails I wuz feelin’ vulnerable when Doktor and her ebil assistant arrived. I hunkered down flat on ma belly hoping they wouldn’t see me. Alas, Ah’m a handsome boi, so they noticed me right away.

They checked me over, and eben poked something cold up my cornhole. That did nothin’ to endear them to me, not at all.

Ah confess Ah wuz a bit stressed even though Ah behaved like da Southern gentlemancat Ah am. Doktor was actually verra nice. And her ebil assistant wuz sweet ‘n gib me some Temptations to enjoy on ma ride home.

Doktor spent awhile listening’ to ma heart. Said at first she thought Ah had a loud murmur. But then it got hard to hear, so she thinks Ah might’ve been wurked up. Ya think? Affer all Ah wuz put through?!?

She made a note for ma chart, so sadly Ah suspect Ah will see her again in da future.

On way home Ah sang along wif da radio, verra proud to know da wurds ‘n keep in tune eben when Mama tried to drown meowt.

At home Ah got a chimken Churu to enjoy, and wuz so excited to have survived the morning, instead of heading up to ma loft condo, Ah trotted around da kitchen wif ma tail in da air, eben wif Frank gibbing me stern looks. Frank is a no-nonsense guy and don’t put up with any frisky behaviors.

So now Ah’m gonna go write in ma journal about what a brave boi Ah am, and then take a nap.

Hope you enjoy your day. Lubs, Jesse The Toothless Wonder


  1. Wow ! We were impressed that your Mama was able to trim your claws while you were at the vet ! We are glad you got out of there safely and got some treats out of it,

  2. jesse, yoo r so berry berry brave. becuz i yam a gurl i do not mind habin my nailz done. i do get treetz afurrwerds. we r gladz yoo r bad home safe and sound, being at dee doktorz iz berry berry stressful. pleeze to haz a great nap now

  3. Jesse, we hope that was just a routine visit to the doc and that you checked out A-OK. Mom is too chicken to trim our claws. You are definitely a handsome boi, and it does not take teeth to rock being a black cat! XOCK, angel Lily Olivia, angel Mauricio, Misty May, angel Giulietta, angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, Cooper Murphy, Sawyer, Kizmet, Audrey & Raleigh

  4. Jesse, you were furry brave indeed. We hope you have fully recovered from your dreadful Ordeal.

  5. Look on the bright side Jesse, it's over, at least for now!

  6. You are very brave and handsome too. XO

  7. Handsome Jesse, we are glad you survived that awful ordeal (even though it sounds like the vet and his assistant turned out to be kind of nice). You deserve TWO Churos, don you think? XO

  8. Dear Jesse, I just luv a strong and sensible gentlemancat like you. yer black furs and my grey onesie would look so good together. I flurt wif a few mancats on the bloggie thing. I have all but one of my teeth, so I could shred the tough meat fur you and share. I do not not not ev-fur like going to the Dr. Gropeme. Precious

  9. dood…we due knot get ta vizit much any mor…just a wave heer N ther N speekin oh makin wavez like de beech ther in flor a duh doez…..we iz sendin best fishez soop and de blessingz oh st francis two ewe…both will help ewe TREMENDUS LEE. ewe waz veree brave….de vetz off iz izza eeeeeevil place…..we noe how it iz….bee well 🐟🐟💚💙

  10. Jesse, what an awful event for you!
    Here's hoping that your next visit is less stressful.
    You are a handsome mancat; nice to meet you.

  11. Oh my mouses, Jessie. You put the bitey on your Mama and she... She... She... SHE LAUGHED AT YOU? MOUSES! On the other paw, I seem to remember when my sister Constance was at the doctors way back when and Peepers told Dr T that Connie had been catchin' snakes and bringing 'em home. Dr T laughed - yes, laughed - and asked if she was tryin' to gum 'em to death. Peeps, huh? We love 'em to bits but sometimes it's a wonder.

  12. It almost made Us cry to read of your terrible sufferings, Jesse. You are certainly a brave boy!

  13. What a terrible ordeal, Jesse! I am impressed at how brave you were.


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