July 31, 2023

Official Invitation to August to Join the 'BER Months




Dear August,

This is Dori, *wavy paws*. I know this is short notice, but I would like yoo to formally join the ’BER Months by changing yoor name to AugtoBER.

Here are my reasons why this would be a good move for yoo.

There are no major federal holidays celebwated during the month of August. Other than Homemade Pie Day on the 1st, and Inpurrnational Cat Day on the 8th… and maybe Wurld Honeybee Day on the 19th because they are in danger of being extincted, along with International Homeless Animals Day which hurts my heart to think of animals being homeless, August isn’t a month where hoomons get an official day off along with an excuse to overeat and dwink wine and be silly.

Balloons to Heaven Day on the 6th is a very bad idea, August. Them rubber floaty things end up in lakes and oceans and eff up aquatic life. Apologies for saying a bad wurd but, I’m vewy serious.

Cwackers Over the Keyboard Day on the 28th is just plain silly. And National Dan Day on the 31st leaves me with so many questions: Who is Dan? Where does he live? What did he do that was special enough to get a day named after him? And are all hoomons named Dan being celebwated on that day, or only just one guy named Dan? Also, what about kittehs and doggos named Dan? Are they getting celebwated too? Thinking about this hurts my bwain, August.

Now, here are my reasons why yoo should change yoor name to AugtoBER.

The ‘BER Months start in SeptemBER where children go back to school. They get new clothes and new school supplies and start talking about what costume they will wear on Halloween and what kind of pie they like best for Thanksgiving and what they want Santa Claus to bwing them for Christmas.

August, if yoo join the ‘BER Months, yoo will usurp the usual excitement related to SeptemBER by being the first to get everyone excited with anticipation for the change that’s coming from hot and sweaty weather to cooler temperatures where leaves change to pwetty colors and noms become delicious and cweative like sugar cookies made to look like slices of punkin pie.

The ‘BER Months typically get hoomons thinking about Christmas, so they get out their notebooks and start planning lists on what to buy, and what to bake, and what photos will be on their Christmas card or what family achievements they will brag about in their Holiday newsletter. 

If yoo joined the ‘BER Months, August, maybe we could finally get yoo a legitimate National Holiday called Get Excited for HollowThanksMas where everyone spends that day planning costumes, what pie they will serve after turkey noms, and sorting out who belongs on the Nice List as opposed to the Naughty List.

Anyway, AugtoBER -- I’m calling yoo AugtoBER to let yoo try it on and see how it fits – I realize this is last minute, but I sincerely hope yoo will abandon yoor hot, sweaty, no-nothing existence among the summer months, and come join the Fun Months. Come be a ‘BER and I promise yoo will have no regrets.


Sincerely, Dori, President of the ‘BER Months Fan Club



20 comments:

Eastside Cats said...

Dori, you go, girl!

Sandee said...

I love Autumn. Spring and Autumn are my favorite seasons.

Have a fabulous day, Dori. My best to your mom. ♥

Lynn and Precious said...

Dori, I think you have hit on something very exciting indeed. As long as I do not get the cold weather of the other BER months yet, I am liking this AugtoBER month fur holidays. Though I think you did find quite a few fun days in AugtoBER to celebrate too.

Brian's Home Blog said...

I never thought of the Ber Months like that but it sure makes lots of sense sweet Dori!

Momma Kat and Her Bear Cat said...

What does August think about all this?

Zoolatry said...

Dear Dori (with a waving paw back at ya) ... well said, and we are in full agreement with you. Is there a PETition you'd like us to sign? An 800# poll number to call purrhaps? Will this be one of the questions debated later this month by those-pawlitical-guys who always have lots of opinions on stuff? It occurred to me that by having at least one more "BER" month dis horriblus weather might become BRRR-like a bit quicker? Ya think? After all, you are very wise ... pawing off now, JuneBer

Memories of Eric and Flynn said...

It makes sense if you are getting hot and humid weather, but we are getting cold wet humid weather. We are hoping August will bring summer at last.

meowmeowmans said...

We think this is a fine idea, Dori! We're all for adding August to the Ber months. Bring one AugtoBer!

Adorapurr said...

I'm so envious! Yoo get to enjoy a Michigan autumn. I only get to see leaves turn wilty when winter arrives. No color.

Adorapurr said...

Yes! Autumn and Spring are the best seasons. Purrs!

Adorapurr said...

I'm hoping AugtoBER will enjoy being a part of the BER months. We must do all we can to welcome him and make him feel at home.

Adorapurr said...

Dear Bwian, I appreciate yoo saying I make sense. I don't get that vewy often. Love, Dori

Adorapurr said...

So far he's not returned my messages.

Adorapurr said...

No, I will have AugtoBER sign an agreement not to allow any BRRR weather to arrive any sooner than necessary. I didn't think about the poly-tishuns getting involved. Oh dear. This might get messy.

Adorapurr said...

I'm so sorry yoo have not had a pleasant summer. I can send yoo mine, but please note, extreme heat and hoomidditty is not at all pleasant either.

Adorapurr said...

Yay! Thank yoo for yoor support!

The J-Cats said...

Dori, you have fur-gotten one furry impawtant day in August - Black Cat Appreciation Day on August 17th! As one of Us is a Black Cat, that is not the kind of thing you overlook!
Apawt from that, what you say does have merit.

Gidget Blue Sky said...

Dori, we haz a mini heety wave coming dis weekend. since your lass articul, dee mum haz bin puttin sum waterz into my gushy foodz fur me and i like it butter now. pleeze stop likking dee slitherz, it creepz dee mum owt to fink abowt. and i haz a qwestshun, are jan-yoo-airy, feb-brew-airy dee airy munthz? jus wondering?

Tama-Chan, Benny, Momo, Vidock, Violette, Ollie, Hotesse & Heloise said...

Right now, it's more like AugBrrrr in our corner of France! It's almost cold!

Purrs,
The Chans

Anonymous said...

Kitties Blue: We hate this Google form. Half the time it won’t recognize our URL. Anyhoo, Dori, you missed our favorite August Holiday: Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Night - August 8. Now, we do like your idea about changing this stinky, sweaty month into a BER month. All the Halloween stuff currently filling the isles at Joanne’s would make a lot more sense. Let us know if you start a petition. XOCK, angel Lily Olivia, angel Mauricio, Misty May, angel Giulietta, angel Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth, Calista Jo, Cooper Murphy, Sawyer, Kizmet, Audrey & Raleigh p.s. Our mom sends a big hug to your mom. 🫢🏻