The Great Romance

 Hi evfurryone, it's me Dori, back from a bweak forced upon me by my momanager who says the summer hoomiditty has melted her bwain cells, and she lost her energy to do anything more than binge watch Yellowstone. Beth is her favorite character. 

Anyway! Let me tell yoo what's been happening at my house:

Celebrate the Fall but Beware of Getting Barfy

 

Pumpkin Spice Insanity

Proud of my Black Cat DNA

Hi evfurryone. It's me, Dori! *wavy paws* Sorry I didn't post this on Tuesday, but my brofur Wabbit was wurking his Golden AssWabbit Awards, and if I posted then the pals who visited our blog to vote would get confoozed. 

Anyway! Did yoo know I have Black Cat DNA? It's true!

My momma was black and beeUteeful. Her name is Annie. On a cold Decempurr night, she arrived on her own to my future forever home's backyard, looking for food and shelter for her family, comprised of her husband, and four 2-month-old kittens. She found raccoon noms, but when my future Meowmy saw her, she put out special kitteh noms. 

Alas, my future pawrents were leaving the next morning to spend Christmas in Michigan. Momma told our sitter, Michelle, to leave extra noms out for Annie. So when Momma returned, not only did she see Annie, but she also met the rest of us!

My daddy, Nikolas:

Winner of BASKET CASE: Who Wore It Best

 Thank you to all who voted for me. I've never won anything in my life...except maybe the Lottery when I found my Forever Home. Love, Candy

Basket Case: Who Wore It Best

Hi evfurrybuddy! It's Tuesdays again, and I'm Dori. *wavy paws* By now yoo probably know all about how my brofur Wabbit is hosting a contest called The Golden AssRabbit Awards. It's designed for naughty furs who frustrate their hoomons.

Lately I've tried to be naughty so I can enter the contest, but Wabbit says NO. I can't enter, and neither can any of my other fursibs. He's such an AssWabbit!

So I decided to have my own contest. Below are some of my sibs who have enjoyed a pawtikular basket on our kitchen counter over the past year. Because they were all so envious when I got featured on the cover of MEOW magazine, courtesy of the talented Nai Salter, meowmy to Jazzy Jazz and the Furry Bunch, I decided to make them each the cover meowdel of their own magazine while sitting in the basket.

COVER GIRL

 

Sorry I couldn't post this on Tuesday. We didn't have internet or teevee since Monday. The problem was inside the control box in our laundry room. But it's all fixed now. Thank Cod!

So Nai Salter, the momma of my furend @Jazzy_Jazz_and_the_Furry_Bunch, made me a cover meowdel for MEOW magazine. I am so happy with this, I wanted to show yoo.

Wishing  yoo all a Wonderpurr weekend!

Love, Dori

My Bespoke and Made to Order Prizes by Kerky Kat Boutique

 Hi evfurrybuddy, this is Dori. *wavy paws* Today I'm vewy excited to show yoo all the wonderpurr pwizes I won when I entered Fudge's Giveaway on BionicBasil.com. The package flew all the way to my house from Mewton-Clawson in the United Kingdom. They were pretty exhausted when they arrived on Fri-yay, so Momma said to let them rest over the weekend. 

There were a lot of pwizes in the box, even some for my Momma. A bwacelet, and a keychain and a note book with pen, and a change purrrse, which intrigued me, but then Momma showed me what was inside the purrrple tissue papurr... and this is what happened.

The Subject is Closet Space

 

Welcome to another Tuesdays with Dori. I'm yoor host, Dori. *wavy paws* 

Today I want to discuss Closet Space, or lack thereof. Let me say right up fwont, I do not purrsonally own a closet. Nor do I see actual need for closets. 

It is my opinion that closets are the Devil's invention, meant to inflict fwustwashun and anger issues by tempting hoomoms to be so sentimental about old stuff, that they cannot bear to let go, even long after it has ceased to spark joy. Not exactly a quote from Marie Kondo, but if yoo have overstuffed closets, then yoo get my point.

Before I go much further, let me first give yoo my Bweaking Nooz report.

The Subject is Penguins

 Hello to all my Furends. Welcome to another Tuesdays with Dori. I'm yoor host, Dori. *wavy paws* So this week my momma started taking pawtography lessons. She's had a nice camera for awhile, but has leaned too much on her iPhone to take our pikchures. Something about how, if she had to run and get her DSLR every time one of us struck a pose, every pikchure would be filed under "No Look Wednesday." While Momma is off learning about how to wurk her camera, and not depend on Auto... Daddy went off to sweat in the sun while playing swat ball with stick game. 

Momma had every intention of helping me write my Tuesday column, but she had to take the loooong way home because there was a horry-bill accident on the freeway and twaffic was backed up for over ten miles and at least two hours, if not more. So now all she wants to do is take a nap. So, today's Tuesday column is a re-run of a Cat-toon from our old house where George and Gracie Geese visited with their babies last spring. We sure do miss seeing them. Now all we get at this house are deer doggos and huuuuge owls sitting in branches over our Catio, staring at ME with a hangry look in their eyes. I nearly peed my purrrple underpants the other day.

Okay, on wif the show!

UNTIL NEXT TIME...

A Dramatic Moment for Dori

 

Welcome to another Tuesdays with Dori. I'm yoor host, Dori. *wavy paws*. I hope yoo all enjoyed a nice Independence Day weekend. At Wonderpurr Life, we posted a lot of social media giving hoomons a heads up about how fireworks can frighten not only pets, but also wildlife. Momma's sister lives on a lake, and she said before the weekend she had a lot of swans, and a lot of squirrels and birds around her home. But by the morning of July 4th... the lake was very quiet. The poor creatures fled! And her own pets were traumatized, even though she turned on the radio and teevee, and added calming essences to the air. There is nothing we can do about this. It's TRADITION to celebrate with fireworks, and hoomons will continue to do so forever. But, I also think that hoomons are now becoming aware of how us furs react to loud booms and loud bangs, and taking necessary measures to help us cope.

Bloody Friday

Hi evfurryone, time for another Tuesdays with Dori. It's me, Dori. *wavy paws* 

So, last week I mentioned I had something rather exciting to meow about. But after what my momma did to her paw, what I'd planned to show you pales in comparison. So let me give you my report on the sordid details of what will live down in history at my house as BLOODY FRIDAY, and then I'll show yoo what I was hinting about last week.

So now that we have that gruesome piece of bizness out of the way, I want to tell yoo about Chevy and Nikolas' Man Cave.

When we lived at the house where I ... and evfurrybuddy else except Wabbit was borned, my daddy Nikolas and Uncle Chevy were always outside kittehs. And Uncle Jesse, too. Always outside because they were all a bit on the wild side, plus they started a Garage Band, so they'd be out caterwauling throughout the night. 

But when we moved here to Flory-Da, because there are dangerous creatures like alligators and snakes and HUGE birds of prey, nobuddy is safe outside. Unfortunately that meant Chevy, Nik and Jesse had to become indoor cats. Not an easy transition because Chevy is still pretty feral, plus he's FIV+. And he once rolled Hwermie, so Mom says she won't trust him not to do that with me or my sisfurs. And daddy Nikolas likes to squirt his mancat juice on stuff. So they are not allowed even in Jesse's cat apartment.

The trouble has been with my pawrents worried about their mental health. How to keep them stimulated. Mom carries them to the Catio to have sunshine and smell the fresh air, but Nik doesn't like the Catio and immediately begs to go back to the garage. Chevy likes the Catio, but only while Momma is out there hanging with him. She takes him for walks in Mosey the stroller too. But my pawrents still didn't think that was enough.

They bought sod and created a grass pool in the garage, complete with sun lamp. And they brought in moving toys so the boys can hunt. Daddy made a cool box tunnel, and there is a radio playing. But it still isn't enough.

So then Daddy says, "Let's give them the old TV." They'd had a small one since 2006, and it was still working. Momma and Daddy are now into Roku, so setting up the TV in the garage was not a big deal. Daddy installed a shelf, and Mom insisted on putting stuff on either side so the boys couldn't get behind the TV and send it crashing to the floor.

And yoo know what? The minute the TV was on, and Momma set it to a Zen-like Aquarium channel, Chevy immediately settled into his cat tree right in front of it. And Nikolas seems to enjoy it too, although for some reason he won't lounge on the bench in front of the TV. But the soothing sound is nice for them all to enjoy.

Momma has been playing around with different channels, since the Aquarium channel can get kinda tedious. So she found more animal channels, and was thrilled when Chevy took a particular liking to a dog channel, watching the doggo's play and bark and run around like dog's tend to do.

So, while some may think it's crazy to give feral garage cats their own TV, it wouldn't be the first time deeply devoted cat pawrents like ours went to the extreme to provide mental enrichment for their fur kids.

Hope yoo all enjoyed today's show.

Until next time...

Operation Grass Pool

Happy Tuesday, evfurryone! Well, Summertime 2021 is underway. We were at our old home this time last year, getting ready to move to Flory-Da. Now we are here, with a Wonderpurr Catio complete with two huge water bowls. Here, let me demonstrate for yoo:

This past week I overheard Momma telling Daddy that we needed something grassy to enjoy. I haven't touched paws on grass since before I was rescued at 3 months old. The first grass arrived as a  test plot to see if anybuddy would use it as a litter box. *shyly raises paw* Hey! I had to go!

But I'm so cuuute, my pawrents went ahead with Opurration Grass Pool. They bought a hoomon kiddo pool in the small size, and spread soil on it, and then laid a wedge of grass over it. Here in FloryDa the grass is harsh because it has to take intense heat. Momma bought some grass seed that would grow into a lush lawn, but Daddy took it back, saying we would roll in it, and the seed would never grow. He's probably right. Me and Momma are in agreement that Daddy is always...ALWAYS right, even when he's rong, cuz he's a men, and mens are nebber rong if yoo want them to do stuff like fill a kiddo pool with grass for yoor already spoiled cats.

Where was I?

Oh! Opurration Grass Pool. Here is me demonstrating how to use it:

Daddy thought fur sure I would use it as a litter box. Actually, I kinda wanted to -- hey, I dwink a lot of water cuz it's summertime and it's best to stay hi-dwated. But Momma watched and when I swatted, she said, "Dori. That's not yoor litter box, that's yoor grass pool." And I didn't widdle. I'm a good grrrl.

So the Grass Pool is a huge hit with all of my fur sibs.

Here are Opie, Peaches and K.C. nomming grass before bweakfast is served. Opie says grass is good ruff-age for digestion purrposes.

And here is Candy, demonstwating the lying on grass for relaxation. 

Yes, Wabbit  has played in the Grass Pool too, but this is Tuesdays with Dori, not Diary of an AssWabbit, so no pikchures of him allowed.

I can't wait for next Tuesday, because I have an exciting report about my daddy Nikolas, and his pal Chevy aka The Garage Band. After being outdoor cats their whole lives, they are now only allowed to be in the garage, and its very boring in there. Yes, they are offered Catio time, but Nikolas doesn't like the Catio and yowls to be let back into the garage, and Chevy will hang out with Momma in the Catio, but he mostly wants to get inside the house and explore. Chevy is not trustworthy because he's kinda feral, and strong and FIV+, plus Fwank wants to fight him, and Chevy wants to filet our resident AssWabbit. So Chevy is under strict supervision. Anyway! After a year of trying different ideas to entertain them in the garage, my pawrents finally knocked the ball out of the park. 

So, until next Time....

Help Needed with Sunday Selfie

 

Dieting Dreams and Microchipping Parents

 Hi everyone, welcome back to another Tuesdays with Dori.

It seems like I was just doing this a week ago. How time flies! 

This past week was super busy at my house. My pawrents weren't home so much, I was convinced they'd runned away from home. I am vewy upset because they are not microchipped and there was no way for me to put out an alert to find them. But every day they returned, mostly in time for our 4 o'clock dinner noms.

So yesterday my momma got her second Moderna vaccine. The first she breezed through without hardly any side effects, except for an achy arm, and she said that was mostly due to me sleeping on her upper arm all night long. I'm a vewy sound sleeper, by the way.

Manatee Springs

Welcome to another Tuesdays with Dori. I'm yoor hostess, Dori. *wavy paws*

I hope yoo all enjoyed a beautiful Easter. Spwing is in the air, with flower blooming and sun puddles popping up in some of my favorite places both inside my home, and outside in my Catio.

Today I want to share wif yoo a special place here in Flory-Da reserved for Manatees. 

A Peopley Kind of Week

Humans are exhausting. I live with two, so I know what I'm meowing about.

Last week I was denied my social media experience because my meowmy was overwhelmed by stuff like the air conditioning system being replaced on Wednesday, so Chevy and my daddy cat Nikolas had to spend all day in Jesse's room, and Nik of course peed on something cuz that's how he rolls... Then on Caturday my pawrents were waked up by the front sidewalk being ripped up and twee woots being chopped out at six o'clock in the morning. 

You see, the week before Daddy got a notice from the HOA peoples that the sidewalk needed to be replaced. The house is 15 years old and that twee has been growing woots for at least ten, so why after being here nine months or so do my pawrents have to shell out the big bucks to get it replaced? Because that's how Life at Chateau Wonderpurr has been since we moved here. It's the gift that keeps on giving...or rather, taking.

Not my pwoblem! Why should my social media suffer?

I asked Momma, but she had no answer. She just sighed and went to wescue Elly who was screaming because Wabbit was chasing her. I've noticed Momma buying a lot of wed wine lately.

Life at Chateau Wonderpurr is a give and take of constant energy swirling in a vortex of anxiety mixed with unexpected events. A phone call might bring joy or growling under brefs. That's why I don't have a pawphone. I get enough joy from playing wif my dolly, and growling when Wabbit hunts me and gwabs me by my neck to woll me like dice.

Good news is that Momma got her first vaccine, and Daddy gets his this coming Thursday. One impawtent step toward getting the Normal back to our lives. Momma got the Moderna and had a little ache in her arm, but it was gone in a day or so, and she had no other side effects.

On Friday my pawrents drove to Daytona Beach so Daddy could buy his brother a biker tee shirt for his birthday. During Bike Week its very peopley so they avoided the area during BW. A week later they found a shop and bought the tee, and then decided to walk down to the beach to see if they could find a good place on the water for lunch. 

As they walked they passed Carol's Cat House, and there was Carol on the doorstep, smoking like a chimney. At least she smoked outside, away from the clothes she sold and the cats she had in the back room. By now I'm sure evfurryone knows that ciggie butt smoke clings to our furs and when we lick the furs, we ingest the toxins. Momma knows someone who smokes who has lost several pets to cancer, and yet she still smokes. So sad.

Anyway, this Carol lady is a rescuer, and spends a lot of time and money TNRing the strays who live around the local cemetery. She and Momma talked for about ten minutes, and then Daddy dragged Momma off because when Mom is talking Rescue, time stands still. The beach was crowded and the only restaurant with a view was Bubba Gumps, which isn't a favorite of Daddy's, so they drove down to Flagler Beach to their favorite place on the water. No peoples, and a table was available in the sunshine overlooking the water. Turns out it was the best decision of the day.

We are now enjoying nicer days with Spring officially here. Daddy planted Banana trees in our Catio, which will fruit teeny nanners. When my pawrents lived in Jacksonville they had a huge banana plant in their yard. It took a few years but eventually produced sweet bananas.

Well, that's my wepawt for this week. But before yoo scamper off, please enjoy a moment from my Catio:

Until Next Time...

Invasion of Strangers

Happy Tuesdays, furends! This past week has been very exciting upsetting due to mass invasion by Stranger Danger. I've never spent so much time under the bed!

Actually, it's pretty nice under the bed. There are cushions, pillows, cat toys, and couches. Also a wide-screen HGTV with surround sound, a mini-bar with chilled bottles of cream and designer water, and a kitchenette for late-night snacks.

HOW TO FOIL A FAKER

Hi Furends! This is Dori *wavy paws!*

The other day I was shredding an old AARP magazine when I spied an article about how 85% of hoomons are confident they can spot an imposter, but the majority flunk an Imposter IQ quiz. Fwankly, I’m worried.

These hoomons are responsible for keeping us in the luxury of which we are accustomed to. If they get swindled by con artists, they will have less to spend on us.

I consider it my pawblic doody to inform yoo of nefarious ways these fakers are taking advantage of our doddering hoomons, so yoo can be on the look out and stop the fakers before they steal the treats right out of your moufs!

Here are ways AARP says our hoomons are being fooled by fakers. (I’ve shredded the magazine so I’m pawraphrazing here.)

Jury Doody

Official Sounding Faker: “This is Judge Judy Wapner calling from the county courthouse. You’ve missed jury doody. Either pay $300 now, or go to prison.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Gosh! I don’t want to go to prison. Here’s my credit card, my Social Security Number and the password to my online bank account.”

Utility Company Scam

Official Sounding Faker: “We have a utility truck parked in your neighborhood, ready to shut off your electricity if you don’t pay the past-due amount on your bill tonight.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Gosh! It’s seven o’clock. It’s supposed to go below freezing tonight! I thought I paid my account, but I trust you. Here’s my credit card, my Social Security Number and the password to my online bank account.”

The Gov’mint Faker

Official Sounding Faker: “I’m calling to notify you of your unclaimed property with our state.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Unclaimed property! Is it from Aunt Margaret’s estate? She just passed away, and all she left me was her collection of Neil Diamond records. I don’t have a record player. Plus I never liked Neil Diamond.”

Official Sounding Faker: “I can release Aunt Margaret’s property to you, if you pay $300. I will also need her Social Security number.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Oh dear! I don’t have her Social Security number.”

Official Sounding Faker: “No problem! I can check it through yours. I will also need your credit card number and bank account password.”

The Ticket Scalper

Official Sounding Faker: “We represent Star Struck Tickets, and you’ve been chosen to get seats for the Ed Sheeran concert for a huge discount, if you act quickly.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Gosh! I’d love to take you up on your offer, but… Who is Ed Sheeran?”

Official Sounding Faker: “Some British singer. I also have Pink tickets.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Does a pink ticket cost less than other colors?”

Official Sounding Faker: “What about Metallica?”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “I’m prone to migraines.”

Official Sounding Faker: “Justin Bieber?”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Will he take his shirt off? I don’t like tattoos.”

Official Sounding Faker: “What about Susan Boyle?”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Oh, does she sing too? I just loved her as Erica Kane on All My Children.”

Official Sounding Faker: “I’m not supposed to do this, but if you act now… You can have two Whitney Houston tickets for the price of one. All I need is your credit card, your Social Security Number and your password to your bank account.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Sold!”

The Bank Faker

Official Sounding Faker: “We have detected a problem with your accounts. We will need you to verify your personal information.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Oh dear. I will hurry right over.”

Official Sounding Faker: “No! We need you to verify over the phone so we can confirm you are you, and fix the error.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Okay. What information do you need?”

Official Sounding Faker: “Your bank account number, starting with the 9-digit routing number. We will also need you to verify your date of birth and driver’s license number.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Do you also need my Social Security Number?”

Official Sounding Faker: “You betcha!”

The Kitten Breeder

Official Sounding Faker: “Our blue ribbon purebred Turkish Van, Hermione, just had a beautiful litter of purebred kittens. They are usually sold for $700 a piece, but for today only, you can have a kitten for $200!”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Gosh! What a great deal. I’ll take two! Here’s my credit card, my Social Security Number and the password to my online bank account.”

The Lottery Winner Faker

Official Sounding Faker: “I represent the Ontario lottery, and I’m excited to tell you that you’ve won $1 million! All you have to do is pay the import tax and fee, and we’ll send you your winnings.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “This is so exciting! I’ve never won anything. How much is the import tax and fee?”

Official Sounding Faker: “Only $500.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Oh dear. That’s a lot of money.”

Official Sounding Faker: “One million dollars is a lot more money.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “I know, but… I’m supposed to take Frisky for his shots tomorrow. I may not have enough to pay both your fee and his veterinary bill.”

Official Sounding Faker: “Well, you sound like a nice person, so… I’m going to do something I’m not supposed to do. I will change the fee to $300, but only if you ACT NOW. Think of all the treats and toys you could buy Frosty with one million dollars?”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “It’s Frisky, but for one million dollars, I’ll change his name! Here’s my credit card number.”

Official Sounding Faker: “I will also need your date of birth and Social Security Number to verify you are who you say you are. You know how the government is.”

The Police or Fire Department Fakers

Official Sounding Faker: “We’re raising money for local officers/firefighters injured in the line of duty. How much will you be donating today?”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “How can I say no?”

The IRS Faker

Official Sounding Faker: “Our records show you are at grave risk for large fines for unpaid taxes. You must settle this situation immediately to avoid going to jail.”

Our Doddering Hoomon: “Oh dear! Do you take American Express?”

Stranger Danger!

AARP says never listen to a pitch from a stranger, be it on the phone, in person, or over the internet, without first independently verifying they are legitimate. They didn’t indicate in the article exactly how to verify they’re legitimate, so my advice is to tell them that before you commit to anything, especially giving them money, yoo will first need to call their corporate office to verify the offer. And not necessarily a phone number they give yoo, either. Honestly! Do I have to think of everything? Go Google how to avoid getting scammed. Google won't steer you wrong! *coughs into paw*

For me, the best way to never be a victim is to consider whatever they’re selling to be a scam—and walk away with your tail in the air.

So! How vulnerable are your hoomons to official sounding fakers? Have them click on the link below to take the Imposter IQ Quiz to find out.

IMPOSTER IQ QUIZ

Pee Ess. My hoomons got 100% right on the quiz, so tonight we’re celebrating with Starkist toona noms.

Before I leave, I want to wish my daddy a very Happy Birthday!

He's not old, just funny in the head.

-quoting my mom

Until Next Time...

Are You Suffering from TMTS? Another Adorapurr Paw'dcast

 

Hello Furends, welcome to another Adorapurr Paw'dcast. I'm yoor host, Dori!

Winter storms coupled with a year-long quarantine can make you so miserable, it is easy for you to assume the worst in life. Maybe after being cooped up with your spouse working at home, you are now struggling in your marriage. That’s the Too Much Togetherness Syndrome. 

You know you have TMTS when your imagination runs wild on a daily basis as you contemplate what Life would be like without the ol’ ball and chain.

 Please enjoy my words of wisdom by watching my Paw'dcast below.