Dori: I'm not feeling so happy. Purrsonally, umbwellas scare me. One minute they're narrow and behaving themselves... The next, they fling open their moufs and puff up like a Persian having a hissy fit.
Herman: Our meowmy always says in order to get over our fears, we first must understand what we fear.
Dori: I'm okay not getting over my fear.
Herman: Hey Dori. Remempurr the time when Daddy spent his Memorial Day weekend on his knees?
Hi evfurrybuddy, this is Dori *wavy paws* host of Tuesdays with Dori. Did yoo know this coming Caturday, January 22nd, is National Answer Your Cat's Questions Day. Being the impatient puss I am, I decided not to wait another four days to get answers to the top five questions that have been burning my bwain for a vewy long time. So without further delay, here goes...
Do yoo make rezzylooshuns? Us cats are not prone to planning ahead, especially committing to something that is supposed to last all year long. However, I am making a special rezzylooshun in the case of my brofur, Wabbit.
Yoo see, my welationship wif Wabbit has finally peaked, and we are taking a bweak.
I showed just how unhappy I am about being Wabbit's play toy the other night when I marched up to the couch and turned my tail to it. Momma saw me and gasped with disbelief! It was only a slight spray, but it made a huge impression. Momma consulted Dr Google and he said stwess was the main reason I spwayed.
Hi evfurrybuddy! It's me, Dori *wavy paws* all excited because Christmas is on Caturday next week. Is it just my momma, or did Christmas get here way too fast? She said all her energy went into shopping and wrapping gifts, so this year she's skipping the part where she traditionally bakes biscotti.
I got a surprise package this week from Miz Janet over at The Cat on my Head who said she thought I needed Ginger Kitty, a little toy that looks like a gingerbread cat, to make me feel better. I've had a rough year because of Wabbit, who now thinks I'm his prey and needs to be hunted at all cost. He is not James Bond. Wabbit does not have a license to kill. So I had to move into the master bedwoom to live wif the seniors in order to avoid him.
Hi evfurrybuddy! Welcome to another Tuesdays with Dori. I'm yoor host, Dori! *wavy paws*
Today I am here to discuss a twagedy that my momma may not ever recover from.
Yoo know how she had dozens of raccoons, and possums, and a few ground hogs at our house back in Southaven? For years she tossed peanuts and dog kibbies, and sometimes the neighbors would drop off leftover donuts and pizza- although I have yet to see any leftover pizza in our house cuz my daddy does not stop eating until the last piece is gone - out our back door to where the furry children of Mother Nature thankfully awaited their meals. It took her a couple years to wean the raccoons off of the free meals, but she did right before we moved last year.
Hi evfurryone, this is me, Dori. *wavy paws* I hope yoo are all enjoying a beautiful autumn, and not overindulging in pumpkin spice everything.
Today I am joined by my littergator furend, Pwetzel Kitteh. Due to the wurld we live in where evfurrybuddy sues over stoopid stuff like not enough strawberry in a Pop Tart, Pwetzel (his real name is Peanut, but I'm his favorite client so I get to call him Pwetzel) has agreed to accompany me during my intermew with The Great Punkin. Just in case he gets overly sensitive and decides to sue me for my Bweaking Nooz questions.
Hi evfurryone, it's me Dori, back from a bweak forced upon me by my momanager who says the summer hoomiditty has melted her bwain cells, and she lost her energy to do anything more than binge watch Yellowstone. Beth is her favorite character.
Anyway! Let me tell yoo what's been happening at my house:
Hi evfurryone. It's me, Dori! *wavy paws* Sorry I didn't post this on Tuesday, but my brofur Wabbit was wurking his Golden AssWabbit Awards, and if I posted then the pals who visited our blog to vote would get confoozed.
Anyway! Did yoo know I have Black Cat DNA? It's true!
My momma was black and beeUteeful. Her name is Annie. On a cold Decempurr night, she arrived on her own to my future forever home's backyard, looking for food and shelter for her family, comprised of her husband, and four 2-month-old kittens. She found raccoon noms, but when my future Meowmy saw her, she put out special kitteh noms.
Alas, my future pawrents were leaving the next morning to spend Christmas in Michigan. Momma told our sitter, Michelle, to leave extra noms out for Annie. So when Momma returned, not only did she see Annie, but she also met the rest of us!
Hi evfurrybuddy! It's Tuesdays again, and I'm Dori. *wavy paws* By now yoo probably know all about how my brofur Wabbit is hosting a contest called The Golden AssRabbit Awards. It's designed for naughty furs who frustrate their hoomons.
Lately I've tried to be naughty so I can enter the contest, but Wabbit says NO. I can't enter, and neither can any of my other fursibs. He's such an AssWabbit!
So I decided to have my own contest. Below are some of my sibs who have enjoyed a pawtikular basket on our kitchen counter over the past year. Because they were all so envious when I got featured on the cover of MEOW magazine, courtesy of the talented Nai Salter, meowmy to Jazzy Jazz and the Furry Bunch, I decided to make them each the cover meowdel of their own magazine while sitting in the basket.
Sorry I couldn't post this on Tuesday. We didn't have internet or teevee since Monday. The problem was inside the control box in our laundry room. But it's all fixed now. Thank Cod!
So Nai Salter, the momma of my furend @Jazzy_Jazz_and_the_Furry_Bunch, made me a cover meowdel for MEOW magazine. I am so happy with this, I wanted to show yoo.
Hi evfurrybuddy, this is Dori. *wavy paws* Today I'm vewy excited to show yoo all the wonderpurr pwizes I won when I entered Fudge's Giveaway on BionicBasil.com. The package flew all the way to my house from Mewton-Clawson in the United Kingdom. They were pretty exhausted when they arrived on Fri-yay, so Momma said to let them rest over the weekend.
There were a lot of pwizes in the box, even some for my Momma. A bwacelet, and a keychain and a note book with pen, and a change purrrse, which intrigued me, but then Momma showed me what was inside the purrrple tissue papurr... and this is what happened.
Welcome to another Tuesdays with Dori. I'm yoor host, Dori. *wavy paws*
Today I want to discuss Closet Space, or lack thereof. Let me say right up fwont, I do not purrsonally own a closet. Nor do I see actual need for closets.
It is my opinion that closets are the Devil's invention, meant to inflict fwustwashun and anger issues by tempting hoomoms to be so sentimental about old stuff, that they cannot bear to let go, even long after it has ceased to spark joy. Not exactly a quote from Marie Kondo, but if yoo have overstuffed closets, then yoo get my point.
Before I go much further, let me first give yoo my Bweaking Nooz report.
Hello to all my Furends. Welcome to another Tuesdays with Dori. I'm yoor host, Dori. *wavy paws* So this week my momma started taking pawtography lessons. She's had a nice camera for awhile, but has leaned too much on her iPhone to take our pikchures. Something about how, if she had to run and get her DSLR every time one of us struck a pose, every pikchure would be filed under "No Look Wednesday." While Momma is off learning about how to wurk her camera, and not depend on Auto... Daddy went off to sweat in the sun while playing swat ball with stick game.
Momma had every intention of helping me write my Tuesday column, but she had to take the loooong way home because there was a horry-bill accident on the freeway and twaffic was backed up for over ten miles and at least two hours, if not more. So now all she wants to do is take a nap. So, today's Tuesday column is a re-run of a Cat-toon from our old house where George and Gracie Geese visited with their babies last spring. We sure do miss seeing them. Now all we get at this house are deer doggos and huuuuge owls sitting in branches over our Catio, staring at ME with a hangry look in their eyes. I nearly peed my purrrple underpants the other day.
Welcome to another Tuesdays with Dori. I'm yoor host, Dori. *wavy paws*. I hope yoo all enjoyed a nice Independence Day weekend. At Wonderpurr Life, we posted a lot of social media giving hoomons a heads up about how fireworks can frighten not only pets, but also wildlife. Momma's sister lives on a lake, and she said before the weekend she had a lot of swans, and a lot of squirrels and birds around her home. But by the morning of July 4th... the lake was very quiet. The poor creatures fled! And her own pets were traumatized, even though she turned on the radio and teevee, and added calming essences to the air. There is nothing we can do about this. It's TRADITION to celebrate with fireworks, and hoomons will continue to do so forever. But, I also think that hoomons are now becoming aware of how us furs react to loud booms and loud bangs, and taking necessary measures to help us cope.
Hi evfurryone, time for another Tuesdays with Dori. It's me, Dori. *wavy paws*
So, last week I mentioned I had something rather exciting to meow about. But after what my momma did to her paw, what I'd planned to show you pales in comparison. So let me give you my report on the sordid details of what will live down in history at my house as BLOODY FRIDAY, and then I'll show yoo what I was hinting about last week.
So now that we have that gruesome piece of bizness out of the way, I want to tell yoo about Chevy and Nikolas' Man Cave.
When we lived at the house where I ... and evfurrybuddy else except Wabbit was borned, my daddy Nikolas and Uncle Chevy were always outside kittehs. And Uncle Jesse, too. Always outside because they were all a bit on the wild side, plus they started a Garage Band, so they'd be out caterwauling throughout the night.
But when we moved here to Flory-Da, because there are dangerous creatures like alligators and snakes and HUGE birds of prey, nobuddy is safe outside. Unfortunately that meant Chevy, Nik and Jesse had to become indoor cats. Not an easy transition because Chevy is still pretty feral, plus he's FIV+. And he once rolled Hwermie, so Mom says she won't trust him not to do that with me or my sisfurs. And daddy Nikolas likes to squirt his mancat juice on stuff. So they are not allowed even in Jesse's cat apartment.
The trouble has been with my pawrents worried about their mental health. How to keep them stimulated. Mom carries them to the Catio to have sunshine and smell the fresh air, but Nik doesn't like the Catio and immediately begs to go back to the garage. Chevy likes the Catio, but only while Momma is out there hanging with him. She takes him for walks in Mosey the stroller too. But my pawrents still didn't think that was enough.
They bought sod and created a grass pool in the garage, complete with sun lamp. And they brought in moving toys so the boys can hunt. Daddy made a cool box tunnel, and there is a radio playing. But it still isn't enough.
So then Daddy says, "Let's give them the old TV." They'd had a small one since 2006, and it was still working. Momma and Daddy are now into Roku, so setting up the TV in the garage was not a big deal. Daddy installed a shelf, and Mom insisted on putting stuff on either side so the boys couldn't get behind the TV and send it crashing to the floor.
And yoo know what? The minute the TV was on, and Momma set it to a Zen-like Aquarium channel, Chevy immediately settled into his cat tree right in front of it. And Nikolas seems to enjoy it too, although for some reason he won't lounge on the bench in front of the TV. But the soothing sound is nice for them all to enjoy.
Momma has been playing around with different channels, since the Aquarium channel can get kinda tedious. So she found more animal channels, and was thrilled when Chevy took a particular liking to a dog channel, watching the doggo's play and bark and run around like dog's tend to do.
So, while some may think it's crazy to give feral garage cats their own TV, it wouldn't be the first time deeply devoted cat pawrents like ours went to the extreme to provide mental enrichment for their fur kids.
Happy Tuesday, evfurryone! Well, Summertime 2021 is underway. We were at our old home this time last year, getting ready to move to Flory-Da. Now we are here, with a Wonderpurr Catio complete with two huge water bowls. Here, let me demonstrate for yoo:
This past week I overheard Momma telling Daddy that we needed something grassy to enjoy. I haven't touched paws on grass since before I was rescued at 3 months old. The first grass arrived as a test plot to see if anybuddy would use it as a litter box. *shyly raises paw* Hey! I had to go!
But I'm so cuuute, my pawrents went ahead with Opurration Grass Pool. They bought a hoomon kiddo pool in the small size, and spread soil on it, and then laid a wedge of grass over it. Here in FloryDa the grass is harsh because it has to take intense heat. Momma bought some grass seed that would grow into a lush lawn, but Daddy took it back, saying we would roll in it, and the seed would never grow. He's probably right. Me and Momma are in agreement that Daddy is always...ALWAYS right, even when he's rong, cuz he's a men, and mens are nebber rong if yoo want them to do stuff like fill a kiddo pool with grass for yoor already spoiled cats.
Where was I?
Oh! Opurration Grass Pool. Here is me demonstrating how to use it:
Daddy thought fur sure I would use it as a litter box. Actually, I kinda wanted to -- hey, I dwink a lot of water cuz it's summertime and it's best to stay hi-dwated. But Momma watched and when I swatted, she said, "Dori. That's not yoor litter box, that's yoor grass pool." And I didn't widdle. I'm a good grrrl.
So the Grass Pool is a huge hit with all of my fur sibs.
Here are Opie, Peaches and K.C. nomming grass before bweakfast is served. Opie says grass is good ruff-age for digestion purrposes.
And here is Candy, demonstwating the lying on grass for relaxation.
Yes, Wabbit has played in the Grass Pool too, but this is Tuesdays with Dori, not Diary of an AssWabbit, so no pikchures of him allowed.
I can't wait for next Tuesday, because I have an exciting report about my daddy Nikolas, and his pal Chevy aka The Garage Band. After being outdoor cats their whole lives, they are now only allowed to be in the garage, and its very boring in there. Yes, they are offered Catio time, but Nikolas doesn't like the Catio and yowls to be let back into the garage, and Chevy will hang out with Momma in the Catio, but he mostly wants to get inside the house and explore. Chevy is not trustworthy because he's kinda feral, and strong and FIV+, plus Fwank wants to fight him, and Chevy wants to filet our resident AssWabbit. So Chevy is under strict supervision. Anyway! After a year of trying different ideas to entertain them in the garage, my pawrents finally knocked the ball out of the park.
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